Posted on August 12, 2010
by Molly Triffin
When you're in a relationship, there's nothing more intense than super-connected sex. And, with that goal in mind, the ultimate endeavor is a dual orgasm. "Climaxing within seconds of each other is one of the most gratifying sexual encounters you can have," says Ian Kerner, PhD, author of He Comes Next. "Every sensation is amplified since you're experiencing it in tandem." But it can be tricky to pull off, so we asked readers what their roadblocks are to peaking together. If you want to set the stage for this erotic experience, read on. We reveal what's standing in your way and how to overcome it.
ROADBLOCK 1: You Only Climax Via Oral/Manual Pleasure
Fifty-eight percent of Cosmo readers who experience roadblocks usually orgasm, but not during intercourse.
To orgasm a deux, you need to learn to climax when you have intercourse. "It may be easier to peak during oral and manual because he's focused on your clitoris," explains Ava Cadell, PhD, author of The Pocket Idiot's Guide to Oral Sex. "In many positions, you won't achieve clitoral stimulation unless you consciously create contact." Plus, as he's touching you, you can guide him or take matters into your own hands for C-spot stimulation.
To orgasm through intercourse, recreate the sensations you feel during oral and manual action. Use extra lube to imitate the warmth and wetness of his mouth. Also, start slowly. "Let him enter you only halfway in the beginning, simulating the shallow penetration from his mouth or hands," suggests Kerner.
As he goes deeper, touch yourself so you're stimulated on the inside and outside. With a little practice, climaxing during intercourse will come naturally. When you're primed for peaking in tandem, read the next section.
ROADBLOCK 2: Your Timing Is Off
Forty-two percent of Cosmo readers who experience roadblocks usually orgasm during intercourse, but not at the same time as their guy.
Since men tend to climax faster than women do, get a head start. Have him tantalize you manually or orally for 10 minutes so you’re close to the edge.
Once you're ready for intercourse, opt for woman-on-top to control the pace. "Rub your clitoris in circles to get more blood flowing there," says Cadell. If he's nearing the O zone too quickly, "pull out so only the tip of his penis is in you, and make shallow movements," says Kerner. This downshifts his arousal while giving you intense clitoral stimulation.
If he's just moments away, stop having sex, and gently squeeze the head of his member for five seconds. "Squeezing halts the blood flow to his penis, abating arousal," says Kerner. What if he still blasts off before you? Don’t give up or get discouraged if the timing's off the first or even fifth time. The more often you try climaxing together, the easier it will become.