1. You want to look taller, not shorter.
There is nothing elongating about flared jeans. That's why people are fond of saying that you need to be tall and thin in order to wear them, which is never the mark of a good trend. If you are experiencing skinny jean fatigue, you're better off buying yourself a great pair of boyfriend jeans. They're relaxed and casual, like flares, but the baggy silhouette actually makes you look longer and leaner, since it's impossible to tell where the jeans end and your legs begin, especially once you cuff them to show off a little flash of ankle.
2. You'd rather not look knock-kneed.
Flared jeans are like an A-line dress for your legs, except that instead of drawing attention to your waist and making it look smaller, they draw attention to your knees and make them look closer together.
3. You like being able to wear your jeans with more than that one pair of shoes.
Because flared jeans only look halfway decent when they are long enough to just avoid skimming the ground, you are pretty much limited to one heel height per pair. Wear a lower heel and the jeans will drag on the ground. Wear a higher heel and they look like awkward capris.
4. You don't want to wear jeans with filthy, raggedy hems dragging on the ground behind you.
Because you will insist on wearing different heel heights with your flares, there will eventually come a time when they begin dragging on the ground. Then the mangling begins. Remember all those girls and guys in high school with their dirty denim tendrils trailing behind them like spindly little rats' tails? Not a cute look. Not then and not now.
5. You believe that pants should be seen, not heard.
Oh my god! That swishing sound as the flares rub against each other while you walk! It's the fashion equivalent of nails on a chalkboard.
6. You're not actually going for a '70s look.
Flares are about as '70s as it gets, so no matter what you wear them with, your outfit is going to look at least a little '70s. In other words, dated and costumey. Sure, the '70s are totally in for spring 2015, but is that really the look you are going for?
Trends come and go, and these jeans too shall pass.
This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.