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12 Pieces Of Clothing Straight Guys Own (But Shouldn't)

Two men, one straight and one gay, debate 12 straight-man wardrobe staples.
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1. White Plaid Shorts
Baggy, below the knees, and almost always with some sort of cargo-pocket situation.

Frank: The thinking behind these is that they're not as boring as khaki shorts and you can still wear them with pretty much any shirt, assuming you bought a pair with enough different colors in the plaid pattern.

Charles: It doesn't matter if the blue in your plaid shorts matches the blue in your polo shirt. The shorts are still ugly.

2. Sleeveless Undershirts
Skin-tight and ribbed.

Frank: I don't really have an excuse for these, honestly.

Charles: Yeah, there is no excuse.

3. Square-Toe Dress Shoes
Aka his "nice" shoes.

Frank: Listen, I don't know anything about shoes. All I know is shoes are nice if they're shiny.

Charles: I would much rather see a man in a nice pair of sneakers than some square-toed dumpster shoe.

4. Pastel Dress Shirts
Particularly pink and lavender.

Frank: It shows we're sensitive but also totally love to funnel beers with our brahs.

Charles: The funneling beers thing for sure. The sensitivity thing, not so much.

5. Team Jerseys
That they actually wear.

Frank: This one isn't fair. The only time people should be wearing these is if they aren't out of high school yet, are in the comfort of their own homes, or at a game. I don't see anything wrong with those situations.

Charles: But they don't just wear them in those situations, do they? No. Once they start wearing them they can't stop. Sports jerseys are the menswear equivalent of heroine.

6. Half-Zip Pullovers
Usually layered over a dress shirt.

Frank: I like this look. Solid dark pullover with a lighter-colored dress shirt. What's wrong with that?

Charles: Just wear a normal sweater.

7. Fedoras
You know, like Justin Timberlake.

Frank: Justin Timberlake can't even pull these off. Guys think these make them dashing, but these same guys probably own a ton of vests and bowling shirts and complain about getting friendzoned a lot.

Charles: #Truth.

8. Mesh Basketball Shorts
That they love to wear when they're not playing basketball.

Frank: Is it summertime and are my balls sweating? Then I think this is totally acceptable if I'm just running errands at a hardware store.

Charles: Gross, Frank! You and those nasty shorts deserve each other.

9. Baggy Suits
Which guys always wear with their "nice" square-toed dress shoes.

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Frank: Dad suits are the worst. If you look like you grabbed your suit out of your dad's closet and/or are two children pretending to be an adult man in a suit to get into an R-rated movie, you're doing it wrong.

Charles: It's a suit, guys, not a sweatsuit. It should be fitted.

10. Vests
Suiting-style vests that are rarely ever part of a three-piece suit.

Frank: I would never wear a vest unless I wanted to look like a '90s backup dancer. I have yet to want to look like a '90s backup dancer.

Charles: You could never be a backup dancer with that beard.

11. Ratty Old T-Shirt
His "favorite" T-shirt.

Frank: Every guy has at least one T-shirt they refuse to throw away, either because it holds so many memories for them, or because it's just so warn it's really comfortable. Never throw that shirt away without his permission.

Charles: Bro sentimentality. I can't.

12. Checkered Button-Down Shirt
There are at least two of these in every guy's closet.

Frank: This is our Friday night shirt. It's a little less boring without being in your face.

Charles: Fine, if it's a casual shirt. Just no checkered suiting shirts tucked into jeans. Blegh. Douchey. Gross.

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This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.