1. When you want it to be longer...NOW.
My eternal struggle with short hair has always been that the second I cut it off, I want it to be longer. Basically I want a ponytail I can glue on and take off, but that also looks real because that sounds like it would look like garbage.
2. When you go get a trim for your pixie cut and come out looking like Ross Gellar.
Great. I wanted short and pixie and all I got was "13-year-old boy."
3. Some people will assume you're gay as though having short hair has anything to do with sexual orientation.
Or as though being gay was a horrible secret they just discovered about me. No and no.
4. You need, like, twice as many scarves in the winter because your neck is ~*exposed*~.
I can't wrap some long luxurious hair around my cold neck. Actually, that sounded creepy and I'm sorry.
5. Limited hairstyle options.
Oooh, am I going to sweep my bangs to the left side? Or am I going to sweep them to the right side? Such options! Oh! Maybe I'll add a bow on top so I look like a hot baby who is also an adult.
6. You have to use product every day.
I can't just roll out of bed like that most of the time.
7. That awkward grow-out stage.
There's this weird period of time between when I have a pixie cut and when I have a bob and it is basically a solid reason to call in sick forever and never leave the house because I look like a hobbit.
8. People who assume that you cut your hair because you had a nervous breakdown and you broke out of the psych ward right after you hacked it off with stolen scissors.
Um, actually it was just summer and I'd stopped dating Sam and I felt like, "Fuck it."
9. When it's humid outside and you become a human cotton ball.
This look is hot to some, correct?
10. You and your hairdresser basically have to be best friends since you need haircuts almost as regularly as you take a shower.
Oh, another week has passed. Looks like it's time for me to go see my 50-year-old BFF Jean and pay her another P500 to keep my hair like this. What up, Jean!
11. People who tell you they liked your hair when it was long.
Haha, oh, Mark, you're hilarious! You're acting like I give a shit about what you think of me. Haha. Classic Mark.
12. When people ask you when you'll grow it long again.
Every time someone asks me this, I just want to shake them and ask them when they're going to change the color of their eyes or their horrible personalities. #Burn.
13. When you wear a hat and your hair disappears as if you have no hair at all.
Which then makes people think I went really "crazy" and shaved my head. And they have way more questions about that, due to The Britney Spears Incident.
14. The first shower you take after getting it cut makes you feel like you've been robbed.
And I have to remind myself this was intentional but then you run your fingers down your neck and feel that little nub and there's a lot fear in your heart, guys. So much fear.
15. When you want to grow it out, but that will take the next 90 years.
And then I'll have to go through that weird phase where it looks like I have a mullet or I have that little ponytail that looks like a tiny collection of weeds held together by string. "Maybe I'll just buy a wig" is something I think all the time.
16. If your haircut is horrible, people. Will. Know.
Because you have nowhere to hide. There are no ponytails for you. Only hats, my dear. Just a sea of hats.
All that said, when your friends' hair is sticking to their backs at the beach, you're running around like, "I don't have that problem and my showers take five minutesssss. Byeeeee!" It's a good life.
This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.