1. You have about one million brow products. You literally have everything—pencils, powders, mascara, tints, wax, scissors, tweezers—for your precious arches, because you’re always on the lookout for your next HG brow product.
2. You know very well that Instagram brows are not #browgoals. Sure they look sassy, but there is absolutely no way you will ever do your brows like that. Nope. Nope. Nope.
3. You’re practically BFFs with the girl who does your eyebrows. Only she is allowed to touch your eyebrows, because only she knows how to do them just the way you like 'em. That one time you had to have another girl do your brows, it felt like you were cheating on her. I’m so sorry, Tintin.
4. When getting ready in the morning, you spend the most time doing your brows. Like, if you had 30 minutes to get ready, you’d spend 20 minutes on your brows and 10 minutes on others. That’s just the way your beauty routine works! #BrowGameStrongerThanMyWifiConnection
5. But if you had only five minutes to get ready, you’d totally do your brows first. Never leaving my house without my brows on, of course!
6. You dread days when your brows just aren’t cooperating. WHY. WHY MUST THIS HAPPEN.
7. You’ve had friends “hide” their brows from you when they see you. “Ohmygod don’t look at my brows, Retty! I haven’t had them done. Please don’t judge me!” And you stand there confused thinking, “Yo, I’m not gonna judge you and your decisions.”
8. But you do get a little agitated when you see unibrows. And you try your hardest not to whip out your tweezers and help a sister out.
9. You love how filling in your brows will take you from a 10…to still a 10. #confidence
10. Sometimes, your boyfriend has to deal with your brow obsession. “Babe, can I pluck your eyebrows?” you say. If he says no—and he always says no—you’ll answer, “Okay, can I take you to the salon to have them threaded instead?” He’ll still say no, but at least you tried.
11. You follow a ton of celebrities on social media because you like looking for new brow inspiration. And you try your best to find out what products they use!
12. You also keep a short list of brow pegs. Some of the names on that list include: Cara Delevingne, Jane Oineza, Janine Gutierrez, Nadine Lustre, Anne Curtis, and more.
13. You spend a ridiculous amount of time on YouTube searching for brow tutorials to learn new techniques for filling in your arches. Gotta keep learning, of course.
14. The thought of coloring your hair stresses you out, because you know you have to get new brow products so you could match your tresses. Ughhhh.
15. Sometimes, you remember people based on their brows. You don’t remember the name of that girl you met at Valkyrie, but you remember she had perfect brows. And you only recall your cousin’s girlfriend as the girl who needs serious help because her brow color doesn’t match her hair. Sorry.
16. You get a little nervous when someone else does your makeup, just because you’re so particular about how you do your brows. So when it’s time for the makeup artist to touch your arches, you say a silent prayer.
17. You’re filled with so much joy when someone tells you that you’ve helped ~*change*~ their lives, just because you taught them how to fill in their brows. Sure, it’s such a petty thing when juxtaposed to the world and its big problems, but the knowledge that you helped a friend gain more confidence because she loves the way she looks is a feeling that will always go unmatched.
Follow Retty on Twitter.