1. Two words: formal events. "I have no energy to apply foundation and eyeshadow and concealer and lipstick and I am calling in sick to Kate's wedding!"
2. Eyelash curler. "I read somewhere that torture device is supposed to open my eyes, but is it supposed to kill me first? When was this invented? During the Spanish Inquisition?"
3. Blush. "The YouTube tutorial girl said I should smile, and put blush only on the apples of my chee—ohmygod, I look like a clown."
5. Eyeliner. "Trying to do this thing called tightlining, and why does it hurt? Also, I can't control my tears."
6. Eyeliner Version 2.0. "Ganda ng cateye mo sa left lid ah," you proudly tell yourself. And then you ask, "Okay, so paano na yung sa right..."
7. Nail polish. How come some girls are so good with applying a flawless mani on both hands? Ambidextrous ba sila?
8. Falsies. "My eyesss, my eyeees. Why are they drooping on their own? It's like they just want to sleep. How are these things supposed to make me look 'more awake.'"
9. Mascara. "Here I am putting on a layer of masca—ow, I poked my eye."
10. Walking into a MAC, Bobbi Brown, Estee Lauder, or Beauty Bar store and going, "Why is everything so expensive? I'm sorry, but P1,500 for a tube of lipstick? I will only buy this if the box says that more boys will kiss me because of this!"
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