Good morning! Today is a brand new day! I am going to be such a rockstar at work! I am going to be amazing, because *looks in the mirror* HOLLLYYYY CRAAAAP I HAVE A ZIT!
OMG I CANNOT BELIEVE I HAVE A ZIT. REALLY, UNIVERSE? TODAY? OF ALL DAYS?
But today is the day I am 100% sure I'm bumping into my crush.
Like, I am giving this kind-of-a-big-deal presentation in front of a lot of people, and one of the guys in that super important meeting happens to be very, very cute.
I just had to get a zit TODAY.
Okay, maybe if I pop it, it'll go away.
IT'S ABSOLUTELY UN-POPPABLE.
F*CK NOW IT'S RED AND SUPER SWOLLEN.
What do I do? Should I just call in sick?
Okay, NBD. I will just conceal the shit out of this monster.
IT CANNOT BE CONCEALED WITH CONCEALER.
I'll just pop it one more time.
OUCH, THAT HURTS.
IT'S STILL THERE!
It's okay, I can do this. I will just put on a sexy pencil skirt, and people will notice my butt—not my pimple.
Okay, pencil skirt on! Wearing my crisp white button-down top, which shows a bit of cleavage! YAAAAAAS!
I feel sexy! I feel great! I am going to be a rockstar at work today!
MY CRUSSHHH AND I ARE ALONE IN THE ELEVATOR. He is asking me what time it is.
"It's 10:00 A.M." Whew. Nailed it.
Okay, he wants to know what I thought about the Germany vs. Argentina game last night.
He is looking at me with his sexy eyes.
Look at my boobs. Look at my boobs. Please, just look at my boobs.
HOLY SHIT HE LOOKED AT MY PIMPLE INSTEAD.