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14 Signs Channing Tatum Is Not Your Boyfriend

Just in case you're not sure.

1. Your boyfriend did not get his start as a dancer. 
Your boyfriend did not star in Step Up. He didn't even have a role in any of the sequels that followed, including Step Up 2 the StreetsStep Up 3D, Step Up Revolution, or Step Up: All In.

2. Your boyfriend never played Danny McBride's sex slave in a surprise cameo. 
Even if your boyfriend did manage to play a sex slave in a movie, he is not famous enough for it to be considered a "surprise cameo."

3. Your boyfriend doesn't have a baby named "Everly." 
Your boyfriend either doesn't have any babies, or he has babies with real names.

4. Your boyfriend doesn't look like this:

5. Your boyfriend does not have an ongoing bet with Jonah Hill that will result in him potentially kissing Jonah Hill's penis. 
In fact, you're confident Jonah Hill doesn't know him and wouldn't let him anywhere near his penis.

6. Your boyfriend never starred in a teen-centric rendition of Shakespeare's Twelfth Night
Your boyfriend hasn't starred in any adaptations of Shakespeare plays. He wasn't even in the Baz Luhrmann version of Romeo + Juliet. Conversely, Channing Tatum was in She's the Man.

7. Your boyfriend also never (maybe) dated co-star Amanda Bynes while they were filming. 
All things considered, this is a really, really good thing.

8. Your boyfriend never had an imaginary friend named Boy. 
Consequently, your boyfriend also never appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live! to reunite with Boy. Your boyfriend hasn't even been asked on Jimmy Kimmel's show.

9. Your boyfriend has never emailed Sony studio executives with a possibly record-shattering number of "HA"s. 
You're positive he does not have the emails of any movie studio higher-ups, even if he does overuse "ha."

10. Your boyfriend was never a stripper with the stage name "Chan Crawford." 
In fact, you can't imagine your boyfriend being able to make a living stripping.

11. Your boyfriend has never starred in a Mountain Dew commercial
The closest he has come is drinking an entire bottle of Mountain Dew by himself.

12. Your boyfriend isn't married to Jenna Dewan. 
That would be kind of messed up if he were.

13.  Your boyfriend isn't absolutely terrified of porcelain dolls. 
At best, your boyfriend has been mildly creeped out ever since he saw Annabelle, but he got over it pretty quickly.

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14. Your boyfriend never starred in a movie that was suspiciously similar to Olympus Has Fallen. 
Channing Tatum starred in White House Down alongside Jamie Foxx. Your boyfriend was not in this movie, which means your boyfriend also isn't Jamie Foxx.


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This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.