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Here's How To Fake A 'Star Wars' Conversation With A Fan

TRANSLATION: I have never seen any of the 'Star Wars' films but I am not going to tell you that because I am afraid you will kill me.

The Star Wars fever is everywhere and there's really no escaping it, because Episode VII, The Force Awakens, opens in cinemas officially on December 17.

If you're a clueless girl and have NEVER seen the six movies in your life, we won't judge, but there are a million SW fans who will.

In case you're caught conversing with a serious geek who asks you some tough questions about the movie franchise, we came up with the wittiest replies so you can fool them into thinking you've seen EVERYTHING. And also, so they can leave you in peace.

Sooooo, what’s your favorite Star Wars movie?

Answer 1: "Episode… V (?) because DUH. It was sooooo epic and all the other episodes fail in comparison, TBH. (Wait, anyare ba sa Episode V?)

Answer 2: "The original trilogy for me was pretty solid. The prequels meeeh, not so much." (Shit, tama ba?!

Who's your favorite character?

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Answer 1: Chewbacca. There's really no one like him. (Eh, sino pa nga ba?)

Answer 2: Han Solo. I think Harrison Ford was such a good casting decision. And also, he's Harrison Ford. ‘Nuff said. (Imbento! Imbento! Imbento!)

What’s your favorite scene in the Star Wars saga?

Answer: "Oh, you know, when Darth Vader…died and it was like so intense. Damn." (???????)

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"How do you feel about the Anakin-Padme romance in Episode II?"

Answer: "I hated it. So. So. So. Much."

Do you think Qui Gon Jin's death was justified?

Answer: "Hmm… You know, considering this was shot pre-Taken and The Dark Knight Rises—obviously, Liam Neeson had to die onscreen at one point in his career." (badumtssssss. GALING KO, SHIT!)

"Who shot first in Episode IV? Han Solo or Greedo?"

Answer: Han Solo, of course. Duh. Everyone knows that. Why did George Lucas have to change things up in the remastered version?! (Ata. Nabasa ko talaga sa Wikipedia 'yun.)

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Do you think Jar Jar Binks destroyed the prequel trilogy?

Answer: "He totally did. Like, I wish George Lucas never thought of his character." (Actually, di ko talaga alam kung bakit galit na galit 'yung mga tao sa kanya. Ang cute kaya niya!)


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