Meghan Markle opened up about exactly what it was like to be a working member of the royal family, how much she was controlled by "The Firm," and how much pressure was on her shoulders in her interview with Oprah, revealing that at the worst times she was struggling with her mental health and "didn’t want to be alive anymore." When she went to senior royals for help, she said they denied her outpatient treatment.
Speaking to Oprah during a fully explosive tell-all interview, the duchess said in the midst of intense scrutiny, she began to have "real and frightening" thoughts and asked if she could go somewhere to get mental health help and was told she couldn't.
"I went to one of the most senior people to get help. I share this because there are so many people who...are afraid to voice that they need help, and I know personally how hard it is to not just voice it, but when you voice it say no," Meghan said.
Ultimately, she confided in Prince Harry and then reached out to one of Princess Diana's best friends for help and encouragement, "because who else could understand what it's actually like on the inside?"
"[Going to a hospital] is what I was asking to do," she said. "You can't just do that, I couldn't call an Uber to the palace, you couldn't just go. You have to understand...that was the last time I saw my passport, my drivers license, my keys. Alt that gets turned over."
Thankfully, Meghan says she sees now that life is worth living and she is in a much better place.
Her comments come amid palace aides choosing this week to accuse Meghan Markle of bullying (with highly suspicious timing) and Buckingham Palace launching an HR investigation. In response, Meghan's team called the bullying claims an "attack on her character" and also said what literally everyone is thinking re: the timing of this all:
"It's no coincidence that distorted several-year-old accusations aimed at undermining The Duchess are being briefed to the British media shortly before she and The Duke are due to speak openly and honestly about their experience of recent years."
This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.