Nico Bolzico's first line on today's Intagram post is enough to let the reader know that something funny and witty is about to come. The post shows a photo of the husbands of the It Girls—Nico Bolzico, Arthur Burnand, Erwan Heussaff, and Adrien Semblat—plus Jess Wilson's boyfriend Moritz Gastl all dressed up for what looks like a fashion shoot. Nico begins the caption by asking: "So you already know who these sexy men are, but do you know who is the most bullied?"
Nico then begins describing each of the It Girls, whom he calls "masters."
Isabelle: "She has shown us strong maternity qualities, [and] we also see them in the lioness and saltwater crocodiles when we watch National Geographic. Her favorite hobby is to start fights with Adrien for no reason. Typical situation: Belle tells Adrien to leave her alone and automatically asks him why he is ignoring her."
Anne: "Erwan knows there are two kinds of Anne, the one is hungry and the one is not. The funny thing is she cannot cook for her life. When Anne cooks we usually pray after we eat, not before."
Jess: "The new blood, the youngest of the wifezillas, not a wifezilla yet, not even a bridezilla! Jess is known for being the chillest of all of them. My theory is [that it's] because Ritzo hasn’t proposed yet. You know what Albert Einstein once said: 'Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not, none of the above ever happens.'"
Georgina: "The first mother of the pack, the least expected I must say, mother of my ahijado, the incredible and super advanced Archieboo. The legend says Arturo hasn’t spoken to her for two months, because he doesn’t want to interrupt her."
Solenn: "Wifezilla: the Queen of the Wifezillas, the initiator, the silver back, the one, the two, the three, the Big Ban, the genesis, the alpha, the all, the nothing, the master. Whatever she says, I do, whatever she wants I get. If it looks like chicken, it tastes like chicken, but she says it is beef, then it is beef."
The entrepreneur ended his caption with a disclaimer.
"All these paragraphs were written with the objective of making you all laugh. None of them are true, unless any of the wives say they are true, then they are true!