It's full of all the awkward metaphors you'd expect, like "special dance" and "mommy and daddy hang out" and "daddy has to put his penis into the pocket." There are diagrams, questions about babies coming out of butts, and kids hearing words like "vagina" and "sperm" for the first time. One kid shows a rudimentary understanding of vaginas by saying, "There's some kind of hole here, like an igloo." I just like that his go-to object for "something with a hole" is an igloo.
And then there's the kid in the green windbreaker. His dad is shocked to find out that this kid already knows everything. "Sperm egg collide, blah, blah, blah...mom provides egg, dad provides sperm...they have sex," he nonchalantly informs his father. His dad had no idea he knew this much. This kid's knowledge goes beyond even what his father was prepared to teach him today. When asked where he learned it all, the kid rats out his older brother, Nick. I'm pretty sure Nick just got grounded forever.
Watch the whole great thing here:
This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.