1. Expectation: You get up at 6 a.m. so you can get to the gym before work, because that's what your really beautiful and perfect coworker does and if she tried to kiss you you'd probably let her.
Reality: Why is your alarm going off? Must be wrong. Snooze.
2. Expectation: You walk over to your dresser and pull out fresh yoga pants and an adorable workout top.
Reality: You pick up some Dumpster clothes on the floor that could pass for a workout outfit, plus a ratty sports bra you've had since college. You're 27.
3. Expectation: Once you get to the gym you'll have a whole hour to work out.
Reality: Changing out of your clothes and making yourself presentable again takes like half an hour.
4. Expectation: You go to the gym at a weird hour on purpose and are rewarded with empty machines.
Reality: You go to the gym at the same time that everybody on the planet goes to the gym and all the machines are taken.
5. Expectation: You'll Zumba your way to fitness.
Reality: You'll get injured the first day from spastically wiggling around the studio and have to take a month off to heal.
6. Expectation: Being surrounded by super-fit girls who all appear to be on the I'm Better Than You Dance Team will motivate you to work harder.
Reality: You will be hyper-aware of your lack of stamina and asthmatic-kid breathing and feel humiliated.
7. Expectation: Your amazing "Workout Jamz 2014" mix makes the time on the treadmill fly by.
Reality: Your iPod dies as soon as you step onto the machine.
8. Expectation: Within the first five minutes of your workout, a musical montage will begin that depicts you gaining strength and confidence, ending with an all-new you.
Reality: Within the first five minutes of your workout you have realized what a terrible idea this was.
9. Expectation: Once you decide to work out three days a week, you stick to the plan.
Reality: You only go to the gym when it's not cold out and there's nothing on TV.
10. Expectation: On the weekends you take advantage of the nice weather to go for a run outside and all the guys in the oval check you out.
Reality: You run by your boss and her husband and they barely recognize you because you are sweating profusely and not wearing makeup.
11. Expectation: Your post-workout shower will basically be a shampoo commercial in which you saucily wash all the sweat and grime off of your svelte body.
Reality: You get in the shower and holy crap, your thigh chaffage is ON FIRE.
12. Expectation: After a few workouts, you'll have washboard abs.
Reality: After a few workouts, you'll be in such intense pain that even squatting on your way to sit on the toilet is excruciating.
This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor changes have been implemented by the Cosmo.ph editors.