1. “Are you ticklish?” already rings your alarm bells. You know that the moment you say “yes” you’ll be tickled. And who knows how long it’ll last? To you it’s always like a lifetime. But you can’t not lie about it. Dread is written all over your face!
2. People will always try to find your tickle spots. Why do they even do this?! And it’s like they scored a goal when they get them. “Oh yeah! Found it! Wooooooot!” Ugh. Your body is not for their enjoyment!!
3. It’s torture. This is a real thing! Sure, tickles make you laugh. But prolonged ones make you panic to the point that you can’t breathe and you’re on the verge of crying.
4. Your shrieks mean nothing to people. For some reason people who tickle you still think you’re enjoying it, no matter how much you scream. Morbid, much?
5. You get tickled even when people’s fingers are two inches away from you. Generally, everything unwanted has to be at least an arm’s length away from you for you not to be tickled or bothered. People think you’re super sensitive, but really, isn’t that part of having a sense of space?
6. People don’t understand how violent you can be when you’re being tickled. It’s not like you meant to hurt them when you pinched their arm; you’re not evil like they are for tickling you. It’s called SELF-DEFENSE and it’s automatic when you’re being tickled. It also means “STOP. IT.”
7. People will use your being ticklish as a threat. “Wake up or I’ll tickle you!” “Stop eating my chips or else I’ll tickle you.” And no matter how much you want to stand your ground, you can’t do anything else but relent. :(
8. You’re hesitant to get any kind of massage. It’s not relaxing at all. The lady who’s rubbing your back is really pissed ’cos you keep contorting your body in all sorts of ways so she can’t work.
9. Your hair and your clothes can tickle you. You don’t get why it happens, but it does. You kind of just want to cut your hair and take your clothes off so you can stop laughing like a maniac.
10. You always feel like there’s a mosquito or a fly darting to your body. Whether or not there is one, you keep jerking your arms and your legs—it’s a survival instinct, which is clearly a good thing. Everyone else who’s just keeping still and dealing with the mosquito is judging you badly, and you’re resisting the urge to poke fun at their dull senses. Or how stupid they are for just letting the mosquito live.
11. You’ve ruined foreplay with your riotous laughter. It sucks to cockblock your horny self. You can’t stop giggling like a five-year-old as your equally horny S.O. grabs and squeezes your waist or thigh. You can just feel your sex drives vanish and you watch a potentially hot moment slip away. (Well, you wouldn’t want him to get turned on by a little-girl giggle, but still!!!)
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