1. You can't wear white. Like, ever. Because if you wear white, you will eventually get coffee or dirt or spaghetti sauce on it, and it ain't pretty.
2. Never take the chance of jumping on the train at the last second. Not since that bag-wedged-in-doors incident with the emergency button and the eternal embarrassment.
3. Even the simple act of walking can be dangerous when every step is a tripping risk. And cobbles? There is a special place in hell for them.
4. Constantly scabbed knees are not just for six-year-olds. Along with a LOT of mystery bruises. You've just stopped noticing walking into things now, it happens so much.
5. At some point, you've accidentally hit all of your big-busted friends in the boobs while flailing your arms randomly.
6. Spacial awareness problems mean lots of overdramatic ducking when birds fly within 20 feet of your head, then whacking into a car mirror while you do so.
7. You hold on to the handrail for dear life on public transport. Let go and you could, and probably will, end up sitting in a stranger's lap. Cozy.
8. Viral clips of people falling off treadmills and tripping over fences don't make you laugh, they make you relate.
9. You carry a stash of safety pins because wardrobe malfunctions are a regular occurrence. If you've got an important interview or date, it's pretty much guaranteed. And you won't be able to find your safety pins.
10. Oh, how you wish you could glide around elegantly in heels. Can you say, 'Drunk Bambi on ice'?
11. Big occasions stress you out. Sure, it's lovely she wants you to be her bridesmaid and all, but do you really have to walk down the aisle in a massively long dress and spindly heels in front of 150 people?
12. Red wine is your nemesis. And don't even think about cocktails in wide-rimmed glasses. #allofthespills
13. … But on the plus side, when anyone asks you to share embarrassing stories (how long have you got?!), you get the most LOLs. Ha!
This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.co.uk. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.