1. Don't overpluck your eyebrows.
Congratulations, now you can't look at any photos of yourself in the late '90s/early 2000s without shuddering.
2. Don't go willy-nilly mixing your alcohol.
A vodka shot followed by a glass of wine followed by a margarita will literally never end well.
3. Don't get a belly button ring, because you'll hate it later and have the scar forever.
When I was 15, my mom told me I could get my belly button pierced—when I was 18, if I still wanted it then. Guess what I didn't want when I was 18? Well played, mom.
4. Ditto for that butterfly tattoo.
Hope you're enjoying spending your money on laser removal instead of shoes.
5. Britney Spears is lip-syncing.
She dashed your TRL-induced dreams, but she was not wrong.
6. Jell-O shots are never a good idea.
Pretend you don't know how she knows this.
7. Have many lovers.
Especially pretend you don't know how she knows this.
8. Justin Timberlake is the only member of those boy bands you like with any talent.
Songs where he featured were the only ones she could tolerate when you took over the car radio. She probably secretly has JT on her iPod now.
9. Getting a pet is a lot more responsibility than you think it is.
Fluffy is a lot less fun when you can't make your dad be the one who pays the vet bills and gets up to feed her at 6 a.m.
10. Don't drink and drive.
Seriously, don't. There is no situation in this universe where this is a good idea.
11. Those shoes look uncomfortable for a reason.
When you feet are killing you after half an hour in those heels, all you can see in your mind is your mom raising her eyebrow at you.
12. Pack extra underwear.
Twice as many pairs as days you'll be gone in your checked bag. Underwear in your carry on. Underwear in your purse. Never too much underwear.
13. And put all your liquid things in plastic bags.
Or all that extra underwear will be ruined.
This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.