1. When you wake up, you make a disapproving noise (like grumbling or a "Fuck my life") out loud.
Because another day is starting, and you will go to work, and stuff will happen, and eventually you will die.
2. Your boss has to force you to use your days off because you've forgotten that you even have a life.
Those days off are such precious cargo that you basically feel like you need to save them for the Apocalypse.
3. And then you lose your days off if you are at one of those corporate places that doesn't allow you to roll over vacation days.
And then literally people will hear you scream from space.
4. You're way too into planning what you're going to have for lunch.
Because going out of the office for lunch is a beautiful thing. Will I have a burger or chapchae or Twister fries? HOW ABOUT ALL.
5. Leaving your office building to get lunch feels like a luxurious trip to El Nido.
This tropical breeze along Makati Avenue makes me feel alive again! I should stop and get a postcard for my loved ones somewhere! Why, yes, I would like to purchase this P100 fruit cup from Starbucks!
6. You're cranky with your coworkers even though you love them.
Emily is so cool and nice, and it's driving you nuts. Seriously. Bat-shit insane.
7. You want to murder your coworkers if you didn't like them that much to begin with.
It's gonna be like the Red Wedding up in here.
8. Your desktop is a photo of the beach, or a picture of yourself happy with a tan because you did go on that ONE vacation!
9. A three-day weekend that you forgot about makes you believe in God and the government.
Monday...we have...off? I suddenly have the urge to stand up in a quiet and crowded place and start singing!
10. You think that treating yourself to a carbo-loaded lunch will make up for the fact that you have not taken a vacation since 2006.
But actually it just makes you feel like a balloon filled with grease. Comfort food is only occasionally actually comforting.
11. Even GChatting during work is boring.
Even when your friend GChats you about sleeping with a mutual guy friend and goes into details. Even that's boring.
12. You start getting concerned that if you lie on the beach you will not ever get up. Because a little crab will sidle up to your head and whisper in your ear, "Stay with us forever and become the Sea-Duchess of Relaxation."
13. Bullshit time-wasting aimless plans like backpacking through Europe for a year or teaching English in China for a year start sounding pretty damn great. You used to judge those people for needing manufactured life experiences in order to become more interesting. Now you envy them.
14. You attempt to make your weekends as much like a vacation as possible. Hang a do-not-disturb sign on your bedroom door. Be day-drunk.
15. On Sundays, you feel like you are headed to the gallows. You can barely enjoy Saturday because you know what's coming.
This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.