1.They can drink all night and not feel a thing the next day.
They can party in da club ‘til the cops come knocking, and still bounce perkily to the office the next morning. If I did that, I would look—and feel—like the undead the next day.
2. Their social life is insane.
They’re so into going out and making new friends. Me? Well my weekends are spent attending weddings and running errands. Like, doing my laundry. I’m perfectly fine with the few good friends I see on the regs, thankyouverymuch.
3. They're so skinny, and they scarf down all these carbs.
They're going to gain weight someday, I bet. BRB, off to the gym to get rid of this food baby. Even though I only had a salad. *tears*
4. The skin on my face is starting to sag, while theirs is positively GLOWING.
I used to have skin that smooth and supple. Now, I can’t go without day cream, night cream, eye cream, EVERYTHING cream.
5. Skin, skin, skin everywhere.
Crop tops, cutouts, short shorts—my inner tita wants to wrap a pashmina around these half-naked girls.
6. When did they get so good at makeup?
When I was 20, I barely even knew how to put on eye shadow.
7. These girls are so bold when they flirt now, it's shocking!
Whatever happened to good old ligaw? Oh right, it became obsolete at the start of the millennium.
8. They're on social media 24/7.
Can’t they go a day without snapping a photo of their outfit or their food or a stray cat they see on the street for their Instagram audience?
9. They have it so easy with all this technology at their disposal.
It’s like they do everything online or through an app and they all know how to build websites and stuff. Do these kids even know how to kick it old school anymore?
10. It’s so easy for them to listen to music nowadays.
They have Spotify and all these streaming services at the tip of their fingers. Back in the day, we had to make do with discovering music through FM radio. (“Back in the day”—that makes me sound like I’m a hundred years old.)
11. What do these slang words they use even mean?
What is “on fleek” and why am I seeing it in my news feed?
12. They can't go anywhere without their phones.
But then again, neither can I.
13. They've got too much drama.
Oh, that dude broke your heart? Geddoverit. He was an asshole; I could see it from a mile away.
14. They’re not smart with money. Me? I’m an ~INDEPENDENT WOMAN~ with savings accounts and investments and shit.
15. But some of these kids have achieved more than I have, and I’ve worked for far longer. They’re doing their thang, getting their name out there, and I’m still stuck at my cramped cubicle at the bottom of the corporate ladder. Where did I go wrong?!
16. This is the early twentysomething chick guys my age like? Pfft. I don’t know what the fuss is all about. She's stupid and shallow and she is NOT dressed appropriately for work. *flips hair*
17. Ugh, kids who make too much noise out in public are so annoying. Get off my lawn.
18. They're Energizer bunnies from day to night, while I’m just tired all the time. I just want to sleep all day.
19. But god, how much fun is it hanging out with them? I love how their cool energy rubs off on me when I'm hanging out with them. (Although I always feel like hibernating for an enture day right after).
20. Why do I feel this way about them? Oh, right—I used to be just like them when I was their age. I bet thirtysomethings think I'm immature AF, too.
Follow Cheekie on Twitter.