She was the "Best" to your "Friends," but lately she's been more foe than anything. And so begins the lonely path of grieving the loss of a friendship. When a romantic relationship ends, friends are there to support you with hours of analysis, ice cream, rom-coms, and a new Tinder profile, but the end of a friendship doesn't garner the same hoopla, according to Meredith Silversmith, a licensed therapist in New York. Which is lame, because parting ways with a close friend hurts way worse than splitting up with some bozo.
Here, Silversmith explains why it's (much) harder to go through a breakup with your BFF.
1. You don't enter into a friendship expecting it to end.
When you begin dating someone new, it's always in the back of your mind that it may not work out, but when you're building a friendship, that's not on your radar. Call it BFF blindsiding, but the end of a friendship feels more jarring because you never saw it coming.
2. You are your truest self with them.
With a friendship, you tend to show more of your true self sooner—sweatpants from day one. That makes you much more vulnerable: Your friends really know you from the beginning, so if it ends, it's more of a blow to the ego.
3. You get closer with a friend more quickly.
You make lasting memories in romantic relationships too, of course, but it tends to happen more quickly in a friendship. When you're dating, there are more boundaries and a more gradual buildup of closeness and intensity. So it feels like you've lost more when you lose a friend; those shared experiences just go *poof*.
4. You merge worlds with them.
You're introducing them to family or other friends a lot sooner because, again, there is no boundary. No one thinks, Oh, what does it mean if she meets my parents? So friends are around a bigger part of your world from the beginning, and when you're close to the important people in her life, it feels like you've lost more than just one friend.
5. They know everything.
Friends are the people you confide in about the tough stuff, so losing that confidant feels jarring. Plus, it's unsettling to know there is someone you're not close to anymore who knows everything about you. Time to call your other friends (and ice cream and pizza) to the rescue!
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This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.