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'I'm finally ready to come out, pero 'di ko alam kung paano ko siya sisimulan. What do I do?'

Q: Matagal ko nang iniisip na mag-come out, pero lagi siyang struggle for me kasi hindi ko talaga alam kung paano ko siya sisimulan. I just can't seem to find the right words to say. Hindi rin ako sure kung sino ba ang una kong dapat kausapin about this. I know that I'm finally ready to share this part of me to the world, but I still need help with actually figuring out my first step. 

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Coming out and opening up about your sexuality is easier said than done. There's always gonna be that fear of how people will react and respond, and we totally get it. This is a *major* life decision and it definitely takes time.  

Mela Habijan, Miss Trans Global 2020, even told Cosmopolitan Philippines herself that, "It's not an easy process to actually hold onto it and really just tell the world, 'I am part of the beautiful LGBTQIA+ community.'" It's a given that people will always have different opinions towards the community, but hey, having the courage to finally realize that you're ready to come out is a milestone in itself, and it's worth celebrating.

There's really no right or wrong way to come out. You're free to do whatever works for you. But if you're thinking about how to approach this tricky situation, Mela shared with us a few important points that can help guide you through this process.

  1. "Simply [tell] yourself [that] number one: You are a beautiful individual because of your truth." 
    When you come out, it's no doubt that people will ask questions and give all kinds of comments. Some may even say that you're just "going through a phase." According to Mela, saying this positive affirmation—that you're a beautiful individual—to yourself will be your "source of strength as you open up to the world."
  2. "You are valid."
    Even though you may not feel it, it's important to know that you are loved. Coming out is a manifestation of love, and "loving [ourselves] I guess is the most beautiful gift that we can give to ourselves," Mela added.
  3. "Fear is the foundation of bravery."
    Coming out can be scary, we know. It's totally okay to be scared. But Mela advised, "Whenever you feel afraid, always tell yourself and remind yourself that bravery will always lead you to a fantastic future."

Watch the video below and learn more about how you can find a safe space and come out:

Mela Habijan is a storyteller and a proud transgender woman with a beautiful purpose. You can follow her on TikTok, Twitter, and Instagram.

Do you need career, life, love, money, or mental health advice? We're here to help you, bb. Join our Cosmo Community on Facebook, post your question—btw, you can do this anonymously now—and use the hashtag #AskACosmoCoach. 

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