Virgo: An incredibly long, detailed series of very specific items you spent at least 45 minutes composing and editing, when you could've just said, "Brunch?" You're just too overly analytical for anything less.
Taurus: Direct and to the point, which is pretty unlike you because in person, you're so bubbly that it's almost like someone who was seriously in a hurry stole your phone to text them. But over text message, your fun but quiet personality is basically hiding under a series of rock emojis.
Capricorn: So sweet and thoughtful (yet concise) that even if you're just texting the plumber to let them know you won't be home later, they feel like you're hugging them through the phone.
Leo: Three to five words at a time max that make the other person think, Oh, damn. This can be a good or bad "oh, damn", but Leo does not need that many words to get someone to sit up and have some #feelings about what you texted. You're all about getting a reaction. To be fair, yes, this is a pretty bold power move, but that's what makes people love (and fear) you.
Aquarius: You're so good-natured that most of your texts are like Twitter jokes: jokey, a little sarcastic, and designed to make the other person have a very pronounced reaction to how great you are.
Scorpio: You probably don't text that often, but when you do, the domineering part of your psyche needs everyone around you to #recognize that they have been texted by You and that You do not do this for just anyone. Ideally, they will bow down before You by writing back and being super-appreciative that You were thinking of them.
Sagittarius: You text jokes that start off small but have every intention of becoming a five-hour back-and-forth thrill ride of a texting conversation because no one loves to talk until they lose their voice like you do. And what did you joke about? Oh, just one word that spun off into 12,000 words. NBD.
Gemini: Group texts are your jam. You're so social that you just don't understand why someone wants to reach just one person when you could text three to six people and start a party bus (if a party bus were a text message with 10 people chiming in all day). Anyone who hates on it can move to the left because this is who you are.
Libra: Peppered with questions. Where are we meeting? With whom??! What? When?! Your need to remain balanced at all times means you want to get all the facts before you can respond to anything, so all your texts just look like you're Jimmy Fallon interviewing Beyoncé about what the lyrics to Lemonade really meant.
Cancer: Your texts will never really say what you actually want them to say and read more like a series of pleasantries. If you said what you really mean, they'd be the length of a book (your river of feelings is never-ending and runs through multiple counties).
Pisces: You wish you could say you spent hours and hours honing your perfectly worded, borderline poetic text messages, but actually they flow from you like wine because you love words and honestly you're just really good at using them.
Aries: Most of your texts might start with the words, "But actually…", but the implication is that you were either playfully disagreeing or playfully adding to their point because you are a human pile of jokes and a well-meaning devil's advocate in the best way.
This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.