24 Narratives You Didn't Ask To Be A Part Of

Thank you, Taylor, for giving us this gift.
PHOTO: Getty

By now we've all seen Taylor Swift's Notes app response to Kim Kardashian's #ReceiptGate2016. And no matter whose side you're on, let's all agree to thank Taylor (and possibly Hamilton) for this iconic line:

"I would very much like to be excluded from this narrative, one that I have never asked to be a part of, since 2009."

Because words are hard and Taylor is nothing if not a relatable beacon of hope upon which we can all only hope to emulate, here are some situations in which you might find yourself wanting to be excluded from:

1. That moment when the cable company calls you back asking for you to take a customer satisfaction survey.

"I would very much like to be excluded from this narrative, one that I have never asked to be a part of."

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2. That moment when your boss asks you why you're so late in the morning.

"I would very much like to be excluded from this narrative, one that I have never asked to be a part of."

3. That moment when an acquaintance you don't care for needs a favor.

"I would very much like to be excluded from this narrative, one that I have never asked to be a part of."

4. That moment when he asks, "What are we?"

"I would very much like to be excluded from this narrative, one that I have never asked to be a part of."

5. That moment when someone you went to high school with tries to add you on LinkedIn.

"I would very much like to be excluded from this narrative, one that I have never asked to be a part of."

6. That moment when someone asks to speak to your manager.

"I would very much like to be excluded from this narrative, one that I have never asked to be a part of."

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7. That moment when someone asks why your Uber rating is so low.

"I would very much like to be excluded from this narrative, one that I have never asked to be a part of."

8. That moment when you get a 3 a.m. "u up?" text.

"I would very much like to be excluded from this narrative, one that I have never asked to be a part of."

9. That moment when your get a text from your network provider saying you've gone over your data allowance for the month.

"I would very much like to be excluded from this narrative, one that I have never asked to be a part of."

10. That moment when your phone dies midday.

"I would very much like to be excluded from this narrative, one that I have never asked to be a part of."

11. That moment when people ask how you and your Tinder date met.

"I would very much like to be excluded from this narrative, one that I have never asked to be a part of."

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12. That moment when he asks why you're breaking up with him.

"I would very much like to be excluded from this narrative, one that I have never asked to be a part of."

13. That moment when your iPhone reminds you that you need to update your phone for the 387th time.

"I would very much like to be excluded from this narrative, one that I have never asked to be a part of."

14. That moment when you get a text from your bank.

"I would very much like to be excluded from this narrative, one that I have never asked to be a part of."

15. That moment when the clothes you ordered online finally arrive and nothing fits but mailing everything back feels like a Whole Thing.

"I would very much like to be excluded from this narrative, one that I have never asked to be a part of."

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16. That moment when your dumpster ex is still the first one to watch all your Snap Stories.

"I would very much like to be excluded from this narrative, one that I have never asked to be a part of."

17. That moment when a well-meaning friend tries to set you up with guy who's so boring it's like talking to a room temp, half-full container of unflavored, low-fat yogurt.

"I would very much like to be excluded from this narrative, one that I have never asked to be a part of."

18. That moment when your two best friends start fighting and assume you'll pick a side.

"I would very much like to be excluded from this narrative, one that I have never asked to be a part of."

19. That moment when there's actually another person in your UberPool and they try talking to you.

"I would very much like to be excluded from this narrative, one that I have never asked to be a part of."

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20. That moment when someone tries explaining their diet to you.

"I would very much like to be excluded from this narrative, one that I have never asked to be a part of."

21. That moment when a guy tries to play his hour-long EDM Soundcloud remix for you.

"I would very much like to be excluded from this narrative, one that I have never asked to be a part of."

22. That moment when your friend starts to go in on another hour-long drunk conversation about their ex.

"I would very much like to be excluded from this narrative, one that I have never asked to be a part of."

23. That moment when you accidentally superlike someone on Tinder.

"I would very much like to be excluded from this narrative, one that I have never asked to be a part of."

24. That moment when someone calls you on the phone instead of texting you.

"I would very much like to be excluded from this narrative, one that I have never asked to be a part of."

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This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.

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