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The 12 Emotional Stages of Canceling Plans

Am I a flake? Yes. No. Yes. No.

1. Relief that your vegging-out time has arrived. 

Finally! Home from work. Man, these new ballet flats are not breaking themselves in. I'm home after a long day at work! I am going to pour myself a glass of wine. I am going to watch brainless television!

2. Enthusiastically getting your lazy on. 
Where are my fuzzy bedroom slippers?

3. Remembering Those Plans You Have. 

Oh shit, I'm supposed to meet Christine for drinks. Nooo. I want to bail. I haven't seen her for ages though!

4. Guilt. 
What do I do? Can I cancel for no real reason other than laziness, or is that the worst?

5. Rationalization. 
Everyone cancels sometimes. Christine canceled on me once! Yeah, it was because her house was on fire, but still, I was totally waiting at that bar for, like, 15 minutes alone.

6. Scheming. 

I could lie and say that the plans I had tomorrow I actually have today, or that I have to go to the eye doctor or something? But I'm such a bad liar.

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7. Figuring out how to flake without annoying him/her. 
What about if I just tell her that I'm too tired but say, "Rain check?" Then she knows I'm serious about rescheduling and not just blowing her off. It's not raining. I guess that doesn't matter, since it's just an expression?

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8. Getting a second wind. 
You know what, though? Someday I'm going to be an old hag with rickets and cataracts and wish that I had taken more advantage of my youth to go out and do things besides lying down.

9. Determination.

I should go meet Katie. I really should.

10. Rationalization, Part 2. 

It'll be fun once I'm there! It's the motivation part that's tough. The putting-pants-back-on part. Maybe it'll be easier if I just wear leggings.

11. The last-minute laziness victory.

YES, I AM YOUNG! I AM YOUNG AND GOING OUT TO TAKE ON THE— Oh, it's raining now. I'd better cancel.

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12. Send text with zero guilt. 
"hey christine! rain check?"


This article originally appeared on Minor changes have been implemented by editors.


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