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The 5 Different Friends Everyone Has During A Breakup

Because who else is going to tell you when you need to shower?

1. The Angry One

This one is more annoyed than you are at your ex. She'll send you regular rants detailing how he is the absolute worst while you were nothing but the perfect girlfriend. And if she ever sees him out then you can be sure that she is most definitely going to be airing ALL her grievances in an animated fashion. 

2. The Sympathetic One

This is the one you go to when all you need is a shoulder to cry on over the demise of your relationship. She'll always be ready and waiting with a bottle of wine (or three), and a copy of The Notebook of course. 

3. The Pull-Yourself-Together One

She has absolutely no sympathy for your wailing. She will tell you that you look like shit and force you to brush your hair despite your reluctance. Her methods may seem cold but she has the best intentions. She is likely to conclude that the only solution to the breakup dilemma is to go out and get drunk. She'll even book flights for a spontaneous trip to Thailand if she needs to. Nothing is out the question if it means getting you out your phunk. 

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4. The Stalker One

Since you blocked your ex on all social media to prove a point (which you now bitterly regret) this friend sends you regular screen shots of any movement he makes on social media along with a text telling you how lame he is. Her captions will read something like "He is so pa-cool." This friend is also likely to be the one who proofreads all your texts to make sure you're hitting him with just the right mixture of sass, anger and "I'm doing so well without you."

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5. The Optimistic One

This is the hopeless romantic. She thinks that the two of you could end up together. You go to her when you are imagining that this is just a blip in the relationship. Approach this friend with great caution. She'll tell you what you want to hear but it may not be ideal in the long run. 

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This article originally appeared on Minor edits have been made by the editors.