1. You never forget a fault.
That time two years ago when he was late picking you up from work and you had to wait in the rain for an hour? It’s filed in your head along with a bajillion other wrongs he committed which you can’t seem to forgive. Even in a later argument on a completely unrelated matter, you bring up past transgressions your boo doesn’t even know were an issue in the first place.
2. You post parinig status messages and comments on social media.
You don’t have the guts to actually tackle issues head-on with your man, so you resort to vaguebooking to let off steam. You might even try to make your boyfriend jealous or worried with your posts just to get back at him. GIIIRL.
3. You give him the cold shoulder without telling him exactly what irked you.
Say he bailed on a date at the last minute because he had a big presentation at work coming up. You reply with a sweet “Okay :),” but the next day, you’re dishing the silent treatment. And you do this on purpose, hoping he notices you’re being cold and wonders what's up.
4. You say you’re fine when you’re clearly not.
When your man does ask you what’s up, you choose to keep your feelings hidden because you can’t stand an outright confrontation. But then you turn it into yet another grudge that you nurse the hell out of for days, weeks, even years.
5. You punish your guy in subtle, stealthy ways.
Since you can’t bring yourself to be emotionally assertive, you serve up your own brand of anger by frustrating your guy in little ways: being late to engagements with him, intentionally “forgetting” things that are important to him, putting off his requests or turning them down completely, and other actions designed to get a rise out of him.
6. You’re prone to a major blow-up.
You’ve been harboring an ever-growing mountain of resentments against your man all this time that once a trigger is introduced—even something as minor as him forgetting to pick up the laundry you asked him to take care of—you just might erupt and scream that he never, ever cares about your feelings.
7. You act shocked when your guy actually explodes due to your passive-aggressive ways.
“Why are you so angry?” you whine, looking hurt. Honey, you asked for it.
8. You’re basically an emotional rollercoaster to be around.
You’re perky and pleasant one minute, and the next you’re sulking over something he said in passing. And when you do get in a fight, you can go from raging bitch to whimpering puppy just like that.
9. You avoid open conflict for fear of losing your partner.
You try to get out of fights because the truth is, you REALLY don’t want to jeopardize your relationship and end up alone.
10. You feel like the victim in all of this.
You blame your S.O., other people, or your circumstances whenever something goes wrong in the relationship. Nothing is ever your fault. And when your relationship fears are confirmed, you feel vindicated. You are the non-confronting, long-suffering victim, after all.
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