1. "Kyle from work is on Tinder? Kyle from work owns non-polo barongs? Kyle from work has abs?!?!?!?!"
This is so weird. It's like seeing a teacher at the mall or a doctor at the supermarket. I had no idea they existed outside of their natural habitats.
2. "Oh my god, Kyle from work is an idiot?!"
Wow, Kyle. You love "beer, music, and movies." The girls must come a-running. Do you also enjoy things like "wearing jeans" and "watching Netflix?" I'm going to bet money that you do.
3. "Yeah, he does not look like this in real life at all."
But props to him for finding a bunch of photos that make him look like he has a sweet jawline and piercing brown eyes because they never look like that good in our office's florescent lighting.
4. "Just going to screengrab this really quickly so I can show all of our mutual friends that is happened."
Yep, attach photo, add five "shocked face" emojis, and we're good to send a gigantic group text to all my female coworkers. Sweet.
5. "If I can see his profile right now, is he looking at my profile right now?"
Oh no, that means he's reading my Pitch Perfect quotes and looking at my semi-scandalous Tinder cleavage. Eh, oh well. They're good boobs.
6. "Maybe I should swipe right just so I can message him and be like, 'Haha, hi, Kyle!'"
But that's contingent on him swiping me right, which maybe he didn't, in which case, how rude!
7. "Wait, what if my joke right swipe results in him actually thinking I have a crush on him."
I mean, he's actually kind of cute, but how would we even establish that he's not joking and I'm not joking? And then we'd have to see each other at work every day and be like, "Sup? Remember when I saw your penis and did stuff with it? Me too. How was your weekend?"
8. "What would it be like to actually sleep with Kyle from work?"
I mean, at first thought, all I can think about is how he wears boat shoes and is constantly chugging Red Bull, but maybe once those boat shoes come off and that Red Bull kicks in, he's got some serious skills.
9. "OK, I'm just going to swipe right and if he thinks it's a joke, it's a joke. But if he doesn't, then maybe we could have all the sex and that wouldn't suck."
In the end, you're either the kind of person who kind of wants to go for it to see what'll happen (and if you'll actually end up having some surprisingly awesome sex), or you're more the type to do this…
10. "No. I'm swiping left because I truly can't deal with what will happen if I swiped right."
What if he didn't right-swipe me, or he did right-swipe me and then I have to be like, "Haha, Tinder!" and then he hits on me and it's weird. Or if I'm like, "OK, but you're hot also" and he's like, "I thought we were joking." Actually, now that I think about it, it's probably better to just throw my phone into the sea all together. Bye forever, phone.
This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.