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10 Things Going Through His Mind When You Drag Him To Weddings

Oh shit, she caught the bouquet.

1. Time to bust out my one and only suit!
And shave my beard. And polish those leather shoes I never use. And get a haircut. Yes, today is the day I will be the best looking...driver for the bae.

2. I hope there’s buffet.
And free-flowing alcohol. Because my favorite thing about weddings is whiskey and carving stations. I hope we get to eat soon. Where’s the waiter? I need a drink.

3. I wonder if there are any cute bridesmaids.
This entourage of old people needs some eye candy.

4. How long is this priest going to be babbling?
Funny how couples are supposed to take relationship advice from someone who is celibate. But hey, what do you know? With everything that father is preaching about love and sacrifice, I actually learned something.

5. Don’t let the waterworks go during the marriage vows!
Just say you’ve got dust in your eyes. So happy I brought my sunnies to hide my man-tears!

6. Oh man, not another same-day edit.
If I have to hear another Ed Sheeran song, I might just shoot myself.

7. I hope we’re not made to sit at the reception with a bunch of a-holes.
If another annoying person asks me when we’re supposed to get married, I might just punch that person in the face…unless it’s some old aunt, of course. Then I’d politely answer that we’re still waiting for the right time.

8. Photo booth time!
Free magnet photos I can stick to my fridge at home? I’m there!

9. This must have cost a fortune.
Just looking at all the preparations that were made is already making my palms sweaty. Does this mean I’m going to have to give up spending on new sneakers, video games, and traveling the world?

10. Oh sh*t! She caught the bouquet!
Am I next?

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