1.“Reservations! Did I make dinner reservations?”
If your boyfriend is thoughtful enough (and can’t cook to save his life), he’s likely to scroll through online lists of local grub-spots for a fancy dinner date. Table for two: killed it!
2.“Don’t forget to post an appropriately cheesy IG photo of her looking effortlessly beautiful.”
Naturally, it’s filtered to look effervescent and dreamy, with matching caption that reads something better than just “Happy Valentine’s!”
3.“Should I send her flowers?”
Yes! Yes! Yes! Because no matter what any cooler-than-thou chick says, girls still appreciate a finely put together bouquet.
4.“Don’t forget mom, too!”
It’s just the sweetest gesture to do for the woman that birthed him into this world. After all, she appreciates receiving flowers just as much as the younger ladies.
5.“Please, please let the movie she chooses to watch be bearable!”
All those rom-coms, YA adaptations, and lonely housewife pornos you drag him by the ear to the theater to see, he endures because he loves you. Well, except for the lonely housewife porno. He enjoys those thoroughly.
6.“It’s soooooooooo traffic!”
It’s sweldo weekend. Fifty Shades is out. We’re so screwed!
7.“Is V-day sex overrated?”
To be followed by the very blunt query: “Would it be perv-y of me to ask for some?”
8.“I hope she’s wearing those lacey undies I gave her for her birthday.”
If you are the thoughtful (more like naughty) girlfriend, you’re probably sporting the birthday gift he gave for himself under your date-appropriate dress.
9.“Is there a gift for me in all of this holiday love madness?”
Because, you know, Valentine’s is all about the boyfriends. Not.
10. “Bawi na lang next year!”