When long-distance relationships work, they’re absolutely lovely. All that unstoppable dedication! All that bittersweet longing! All that off-the-charts excitement—not to mention off-the-charts sexcitement—once you finally see each other again!
Sadly, not everyone who attempts a geographically-challenged romance is quite as successful. Below, 12 people spill how their long-distance loves failed to go the distance due to reasons ranging from lying to cheating to just your general run-of-the-mill assholery.
Absence may make the heart grow fonder, but it can also make the heart go wander. *ba-dum-tss*
The one whose girlfriend did unto him what she didn’t want him to do unto her.
“I had an LDR girlfriend back in college. While I was back in my hometown one Christmas break, we’d fight all the time because she kept accusing me of cheating on her.
Come January, we met up. While we were together, her phone beeped to indicate a new message, and when she checked it, I read it, too. An unsaved number said, ‘Miss you already.’ In her inbox, I could see that the same unsaved number had sent her a string of messages—this was in the time of the Nokia 5110; messages weren’t stored as threads back then, but as individual messages.
I confronted her about it. At first she said it was just a friend, but later she admitted that she had had a fling over the Christmas break. Turns out that when she was accusing me of two-timing, she was the one doing it.
I promptly broke up with her.” – Treb, 35
The one who was accused of being a gold-digger.
“When I was 15, I had an online relationship with a guy from Texas. It was a sweet romance, but things started falling apart mostly because his family thought I was dating him for money, me being a Filipina. It stung me so much, but I believed our relationship would survive...until he didn’t speak to me for a week. After seven days, he told me he wanted to break up.
I went through the whole stalking phase and found out he had formed an online relationship with a woman who had the same name and place of origin as me—except she was 30.
There was drama, we got back together, and three days later, he broke up with me again THROUGH MY MOM. But I felt free after that. To be honest, I’m 100% happy we didn’t end up together.
P.S.: He ended up not going to college while I graduated from a four-year IT course. Take that, mga matapobre.” – Alex, 23
The one who moved to be with his boyfriend but sorry, no dice.
“He was my first boyfriend. We had made plans that we were going to live together, so I moved to Manila to surprise him, only to find out he was with someone else.
I did the whole Basha speech—”Ako na lang, ako na lang ulit”—I shit you not.
I had brought almost all my things with me because I was serious about my move. I stayed in Manila for maybe six months, then went back home.” – Sam, 28
The one who almost teamed up with the other woman a la John Tucker Must Die.
“I was in an LDR with my first boyfriend back in college. On his birthday while he was away, he slept with an old flame who came to his dorm as his birthday present. The following weekend, he went back home and had dinner with me and his whole family, like nothing happened.
Soon after, the girl was stalking me on social media, where she saw that we were together. Apparently, she was clueless that I existed. When I checked her out online, I was devastated to see that they had so many photos together. Even her profile picture was of the two of them!
When she confronted me via chat, I wanted us to team up against him, but instead, she hated on me. So instead of dumping my ex, I gave in to his apologies and stayed. Just to piss the girl off.
We ended up breaking up later on; I no longer trusted him anyway.” – Kaye, 25
The one who was broken up with like it was NBD.
“I had been with my then-boyfriend for three years when he decided to take his MA in the US. I was being a good LDR girlfriend, even attending his family’s gatherings as his representative. Apparently, all those weren’t enough.
One afternoon, I was watching a movie with my friend on my MacBook when he started to message me on Yahoo! Messenger. Without even a BUZZ! or “Can we talk?” he says “Maybe I’m the one for you but you’re not the one for me.” Ang lala, diba? My friend saw it all unfold.
The next day, he changed his Facebook relationship status to single, so I woke up to an avalanche of text messages from common friends asking about it. I had to explain to everyone that we were over.
He begged me to take him back a month after but I wasn’t about to give in after that.” – Gabrielle, 31
The one who got engaged—or maybe not.
“She and I were together in Japan for a while. She then moved to Australia, and I was meant to follow her after about a year.
Around halfway through that year, I went on holiday to see her. I proposed to her in the middle of the airport, and she said yes. I then flew back to Japan to finish my contract.
Two weeks after our engagement, I found out that she had another man. No wonder she was suddenly unavailable to chat online a lot of the time.
In the year following our breakup, I would get calls or messages from her saying that she missed me. She insisted on giving me back the ring, so over a year after our engagement, we agreed to meet up.
We f*cked, spent the night together, and went our separate ways.” – Charles, 36
The one whose repentant ex had a backup partner all along.
“I broke up with my ex-fiancé who was then based in Hong Kong, but he was still pursuing me and telling me why I was the one for him. In his effort to win me back, he admitted that he had slept with his girl best friend while we were on a ‘cool-off’ once. He said he didn’t enjoy the sex and didn’t even come—that’s when he realized I was the only woman who could make him do that.
That’s strike one, right? Here’s another one.
After trying to get back together with me for almost a year, he finally asked me kung wala na ba talagang pag-asa, to which I replied na wala na. He stopped all contact. Lo and behold, two months since that last talk, I found out he was married. Turns out he had already been dating someone else while he was trying to win me back.” – Carly, 32
The one whose boyfriend lied about actually being in another country (SURPRISE!)
“I was in an LDR for four years; he lived in Manila while I was in Davao. On our fourth anniversary, I went to Manila, only to find out from the tita he used to live with that he had migrated to Australia, never to return.
I confronted him that day. We were both crying. We had been talking every night up until then, but it began to make sense why he insisted on talking through Viber instead of via our local numbers. It began to make sense why there were two days I couldn’t contact him because it turned out to be the time he had left for Australia.
He never told me he had left because he knew that I was having a hard enough time with the LDR; any more distance would be the end of our relationship. He was right.” – Crystal, 24
The one whose girlfriend would rather tear him down than tell the truth.
“I was ready to move to Japan to be with my Japanese girlfriend—kahit magkudkod lang ako ng inidoro doon, wala akong pake.
One October, we had a serious fight, and she put all the blame on me. Being the martir that I am, I accepted it. November, she pointed out how terrible I was. I swallowed my pride and apologized just to appease her. Come December, she called me up to say she couldn’t be with me anymore. I was crushed. I thought may pag-asa pa, after all that we had gone through.
Sometime in late December, after she told me once and for all to leave her alone, I went over her social media account and noticed one guy tagged in a photo that I never bothered about before. I checked the guy’s account; it said he had been in a relationship with my ex since three days before we broke up. No wonder she was so eager to get rid of me.” – Jacob, 32
The one who caught wind of her boyfriend’s misdeeds via an anonymous tip.
“I had caught my ex flirting with girls through text even before we started dating long-distance when he was assigned to Cebu. I would usually worry if I knew that he was going out or at a party, but being a good girlfriend, I tried my hardest to trust him.
One day, I received a Facebook message from a stranger. It was a picture of him and some girls partying. He was all over them. I didn’t even know that he was at a party that time.
I went ballistic. I confronted him about it and he denied it. I tried to send a message to the stranger but couldn’t because I had been blocked.
My ex and I still tried to work things out but it was never the same. I couldn’t sleep every time he was out.
One day, out of nowhere, he broke up with me through text. No explanation whatsoever. I guess my assumptions were right. He had someone else all along.” – Mia, 30
The one who came home to find out his girlfriend was on the baby way (SPOILER: It’s not his).
“My ex and I were together for eight years. I went abroad to work for one year, after which I went home and found out she had gotten knocked up by another guy. She didn’t say anything to me at all; I had to find out from my dad.
So I just stopped talking to her, with no proper closure. She had the nerve to blame me for the breakup when talking to our common friends.” – Mac, 28
The one that ended in death. (No, seriously.)
“My first love and I had been dating for about five months in Canada when I had to go back to the Philippines. I asked if he wanted to break things off because I was aware of how complicated LDR was, but he said he didn’t want to lose me so we pulled through.
First five months seemed fine; we’d video call every day. Later on, our calls diminished to just three a week.
One time he called me and I heard a girl’s voice in the background. I asked who she was and he said, ‘She’s my project partner; we’re working on homework.’ She even said hi to me on camera.
Two months later, the girl messaged me to tell me that they had lost their virginity together, that they had been hooking up regularly, and that she wanted him. She was telling me the truth to show me that he didn’t love me. Fuming, I stayed quiet and never talked to them again despite all his apologies and begging for me to come back.
It was all quiet for a while until about a month before I was due to go on vacation to Canada. I would have around five missed calls from him on Skype almost every day. When I finally answered, it wasn’t him on the phone but his mother. She called to tell me that he had stage 3 brain cancer and that he wanted to see me more than anything.
When I got to Canada, I visited him once in the hospital, where he lay unconscious. I stared at him, starting to cry, but after a while, all I did was scream “ASSHOLE!” and run away.
Two months later, I found out he had passed away. His mom sent me a letter saying her son really liked me and that he wished it didn’t have to be the way it was.
Talk about a rollercoaster of events and emotions, eh?” – Chiki, 19
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