1. Just how often he goes to the gym and how long he's actually working out.
Unless he's the kind of dude who's all jacked up and looks like he literally lives inside the ceiling at the gym and doesn't even have a job, he's probably tacking an extra couple of days to his "workout regimen" every week. It's also possible he's spending more time crushing candy on his phone than he is crushing reps, brah.
2. How good he is at sex.
The logic goes that if you think he's good at sex then you'll want to have the good sex with him. No sexually active man is going to be like, "Hey, baby. Want to spend the night with a weak 4 out of 10?
3. The size of his penis.
Whatever he said it was, subtract two inches (at least).
4. How many sex partners he's had.
He'll probably play this down to anyone he's romantically interested in, but to anyone else he's getting laid every night and every day. He's even getting laid right now, right in front of you, by a horny ghost.
5. How strong he is.
He can totally lift your antique end table and carry it up eight flights of stairs for you. Just kidding. He can't. Don't let him carry anything over 50 pounds that has been in your family for generations.
6. How important his job is.
He's always doing "special assignments" or he basically does his boss' job or is the company hero.
7. His confidence level.
Women (allegedly) love confidence, which dudebros everywhere take to mean they have to act like massive, cocky assholes. It's a ruse. He's really a sensitive, deep, emotional asshole.
8. How much he drank last night.
His stories of debauchery have to include imbibing enough alcohol to kill a bull. He was pounding Jägerbombs and Irish Car Bombs and other bomb-related drinks all night, which is why he wound up getting that ticket for public urination. In reality, he had a bottle of beer and peed outside and cried when a policeman talked to him.
9. Just how fast he was driving somewhere.
He's always putting the pedal to the metal because he doesn't fear death. Life is a highway and he wants to ride it all night long.
10. What he said when he got in a fight.
Did he tell you he told some other guy who tried to pick a fight with him a bunch of cool, badass shit and then ripped his throat out Roadhouse-style? That means he stammered something that sounded way better in his head and then speed-walked out of the bar.
11. How well he can play guitar.
He Googled the tabs to "Wonderwall." That's it. Don't assume anything else until he actually shows off his guitar skills in person. And no, it probably isn't worth your time to go back to his apartment so you can hear him jam.
12. How many cookies he can eat in 30 seconds.
Guys will get in your face about weird things they can do that have no bearing with anything whatsoever, but they can do it really, really well, so they're going to play it up. Also, I'm pretty sure I could eat 20 cookies in 30 seconds, for the record.
This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.