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12 Things Porn Got Extremely Wrong

Sorry, guys. We're not the only ones who've faked it.

We did a little in-house research in the Cosmo HQ and asked around for sex myths porn would rather have us believe. We were aiming for five misconceptions, but we got 12.

Go figure, boys. 

Myth #1: Men AND women can last for HOURS without taking a break, or using extra lubrication.

Reality check—it's called a "cut" in video editing. Basically the porn director edited it in such a way that the sexual act would last for 60 minutes of full-on intercourse. What you don't see: a behind-the-scenes edition wherein the actors' body makeup gets retouched from all that sweaty grinding under those skin-perfecting lights. Yes, PEOPLE ACTUALLY SWEAT during sex. 

Oh! According to a survey of U.S. and Canadian sex therapists, satisfactory sexual intercourse for couples lasts from 3 to 13 minutes, contrary to popular fantasy about the need for hours of sexual activity.

Myth #2: Guys can do it right after they orgasm. Like RIGHT AFTER.

There's a reason why Fifty Shades of Grey is such a freakin' bestseller: Christian Grey is the sex god real life can never replicate. So women just dream on. 

Oh! IRL (In Real Life), men get sleepy and sometimes even get migraines after ejaculating (Yes, there's such a thing as post-orgasmic headaches).

Myth #3: All women sound like porn stars.

Want to know what a real orgasm sounds like? Check out Beautiful Agony, a social experiment that shows close-up shots of people's faces during a natural orgasm. It aims to demonstrate that "eroticism in human imagery lies not in the body, but in the face; that a genuine, unscripted, natural orgasm [can] actually turn us on."

Oh! When in doubt, try imitating a porn actress' moan. You can do it, right? It's so easy to imitate when you're not actually climaxing. Now try it during sex. Tsk, tsk. Sorry. 

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Myth 4#: Fisting is pleasurable.

There are no words. It's like giving birth, but backwards. So sexy, right? 

Oh! In case you were wondering, "fisting" is inserting an ENTIRE fist inside the vagina. If you're into that, then good for you. Just don't expect it to be mainstream, for goodness' sake. 

Myth 5#: Intercourse alone can cause orgasms. 

If you can't climax with intercourse alone, there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with you. 

Oh! In "The Myth of the Vaginal Orgasm," NY feminist Anne Koedt emphasizes how the clitoris—not the vagina—is responsible for an orgasm due to the anatomical fact that it is the female counterpart of the penis, nerve endings and all. It's MEANT to give pleasure, so let it! 

Myth 6#: Inserting the penis from the anus to the vagina is okay. 

Anal sex is fine (Lubricate, lubricate, lubricate!), but for the love of God, do NOT double dip. 

Oh! Common sense, guys: The anus is where your crap comes out. It's filled with bacteria, which, when brought inside the vagina and near the urethra, can lead to Urinary Tract Infections (UTI) and other illnesses

Myth #7: Sex in heels is so easy.

Sure, even you would agree it's super hot, but unfortunately, it's an accident waiting to happen.

Oh! Use it for foreplay, but once it gets rough, have your guy remove it so you don't accidentally heel-kick him in the balls. 

Myth #8: Women like it when men ejaculate on their faces.

Do you know how sticky AND MESSY that can get? Okay, some women MIGHT like men ejaculating on various body parts, but make sure both parties help with the cleanup.

Oh! Did you know that in porn lingo, this is called a "facial?" You'll never think of facials the same way again!

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Myth #9: Sex on the beach is hot. 

So you're skinny-dipping, then you roll over in the sand and have sex. PIECE OF CAKE, right? 

Oh! There's one teeny, tiny problem: SAND. Sand in your eyes, sand in your crotch, sand in your vajay-jay. Not exactly a recipe for hot sex.

Myth #10: All women get Brazilians and have pinkish-white butt holes.

Not all women wax, trim, or vajazzle their vajay-jays! And those super white butt holes? It's called ANAL BLEACHING. 

Oh! When it comes to hair down there, results from a Cosmo.ph poll we conducted showed that more men prefer "trimmed and under control" over "smooth as a baby's bum." And as for anal bleaching? New York City dermatologist Doris Day, MD, says that it can do more harm than good. The potential problems may include difficult bowel movements and tears in the anal canal.  Um, no thanks! 

Myth #11: Queefing never happens. 

Queefing: According to Urban Dictionary, it's the fart sound that you hear when too much air builds up during intercourse. It's basically gas sans the smell. For sex terms from A-Z, click here!

Oh! Yes, it happens. Especially with fast pumping. But good news: porn edits out the audio. 

Myth #12: All girls like to swallow semen. 

Women have described the smell of semen as resembling bleach, with a warm, salty-sweet flavor. But it's an acquired taste, and each guy's ejaculate tastes differently. And NO, YOU WILL NOT GET PREGNANT from swallowing sperm. P.S. Did you know? Oral sex can ward off depression!

Oh! According to Ask Alice, Each teaspoon of ejaculate has about 5 to 7 calories and some 200 to 500 million sperm. It also contains protein and calcium! Who would've thought?

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