1. Knowing our hair is not as good as it could be.
On Thursday, our hair looked immaculate. Now Friday rolls around and no matter what we do, our hair looks like just-woke-up-from-a-coma-level bed head. We don't have makeup and as many clothing options, so our hair is of utmost importance. Do you know this isn't the best we can do? Should we interrupt the story you're telling so we can inform you that our hair normally looks a lot better?
2. Realizing we didn't iron our shirt well enough.
There's nothing we can do about it now. Nothing that is, except sweat through our shirt on the way to the date. Hopefully, this place we're going has really terrible lighting. Or a power outage.
3. Wondering if you're out of our league.
Few things are as troubling as finding out our date is an ex-model with her doctorate who once dated a C-list celebrity. Why are you here with us? Wait, maybe you don't even think this is a date.
4. Coming to the realization that this restaurant is way more expensive than we thought it would be.
We're pretty sure you're assuming we'll pay for the date, and then we open the menu to realize this hole-in-the-wall gem with 4 stars on Looloo charges a ridiculous amount for a simple dish. Time to make outdated gender roles and socioeconomic equality the only two topics of conversation.
5. That awkward silence if we realize we really have nothing in common. Great. So we thought we'd hit it off. In reality, when we first got your number, it was just because we were so drunk we would've gotten along with anyone. We seriously consider asking to have our meal to-go and just telling you, "We both know why they're wrapping up my pasta in the back right now."
6. If it turns out we actively hate each other
OK, so this date we met on Tinder is apparently just really good at texting. We wonder briefly if this person is actually a demon and can read our thoughts and is intentionally doing every single petty thing that drives us nuts. It's as if all the contempt we have bottled up inside us were suddenly personified.
7. Not knowing if holding the car door open is chivalrous or cheesy.
The worst part about this is some women love when we do this kind of thing, and some women think we're a try-hard or a chauvinist. It's a roll of the dice, and we can get lost in our own head weighing the pros and cons for so long that our date will have opened the car door and walked into the restaurant herself before we even realize it.
8. Not knowing whether or not we can tell a dirty joke.
We can't quite get a read on your sense of humor. You haven't even sworn yet. Do you hate swearing? Will you be offended if we swear? Maybe you have a really dirty sense of humor just like us, but you're waiting for us to take the first step. Should we just repress all aspects of our personality in case you hate who we are?
9. Was three beers too many?
"Is she judging me? Am I the kind of drunk where I haven't realized I'm drunk yet? Maybe I shouldn't have had any drinks. You know what would make me feel better? More drinks."
10. Trying to time our arrival so that we're not late, but we also don't get there so early that we're awkwardly waiting around. Everyone is looking at you and they think you're a loser because you're there by yourself.
11. When we have something stuck in our teeth. We know in our heart that the only way we can get it out is to wedge our tongue in there and make that sucking noise. Today is not the day to do that.
12. Trying to ask questions without being annoying. It's important to ask a lot about them. People love to talk about themselves and it shows that we're not self-centered. But what if you think we're just a creepy stalker trying to compile as much information on you as possible? Asking too many questions on a first date is the adult version of asking, "But why?" over and over.
This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.