1. Is it really better when you’re on top? We won’t mind. At least we can just lay back, relax, and enjoy the view! Of your boobs!
2. How long should we go down on you? Two minutes? Five? Ten? An hour?! As long as it takes then.
3. What sort of tongue motion should we do? This is a follow up to the aforementioned query. Should we make our tongue go up and down? Does a circular motion make a difference? Okay, we’ll just settle for spelling out the alphabet.
4. Can we kiss you after? Post-cunnilingus kisses might be too much for you…unless you want a taste of your love juices?
5. How many fingers is too much? Two? Three? There is a limit when it comes to fingering, right?
6. How do you breathe through blowjobs? Yes, through the nose, of course. But what if you’ve got a cold?
7. And do you enjoy swallowing our cum? While we’re on the subject, what does it taste like? Is it sweet? Salty? Does it taste like the meal we had 20 minutes ago?
8. How hard is too hard? We don’t want to drill ourselves into you like a porn star on a mission, but if that’s what it takes to get you to climax, so be it!
9. Do you prefer using lube? We won’t feel insulted if you needed to. Promise.
10. Are you willing to do it doggy-style…in the butt, that is? It’s okay if you aren’t. We just thought we’d give it a shot.
11. Is my penis long enough? Don’t tell us that girth counts. Oh, it does! Great, then!
12. Are you faking it? It’s okay if you are. Just let us know what we can do to fix it.
13. Do we really need to cuddle right after? If you say the spooning sesh is necessary, then so be it!