15 Questions Every Twentysomething Woman Has About Sex

Why the hell can't I come in missionary position if it's supposed to be so great?

1. Why the hell can't I come in missionary position? This is the position that everyone on TV seems to freaking love so why am I doing it like, "Nothing … still nothing … nope. I am bored."

2. Why are some guys so weird about cunnilingus? Am I just dating jerks who make me feel weird about my body because they're not worth my time and I should move on to guys who love going down on me? (Spoiler: yes.)

3. Is sex actually better without a condom or is he being a dick? I wish I had a penis and could have sex with myself so I could look into this further. Or, you know, just ask him, I guess. But I still think mine would also be a cool plan. 

4. Are we seriously supposed to pay attention to his nuts? I'm totally down with touching balls for days, but I just don't want to focus on that and he's like, "Why is she wasting her time in the waiting room area of my genitals?"

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5. How do you play with balls without accidentally making him scream in agony? I'm kneading them like bread, is that a thing? Or is it more of a "pulling them like taffy" situation?

6. How does standing-up sex look hot in movies but feel like a calculus equation in real life? I feel like I'm humping a wall.

7. Ditto with shower sex, which, honestly WTF? Great, now I'm still basically humping a human wall, but now it's wet with water, which is *not lube* and I'm probably going to die this way. 

8. Am I masturbating as often as a creepy weirdo or a 16-year-old nun? Because four times a day seems like the right amount to me…unless everyone else is masturbating once a week, in which case I'll try to cool it?

9. How are you supposed to have sex without the bed squeaking with every thrust or is that just a myth that I wish were possible? Do I need to get a Tempur-Pedic bed? Is this their primary benefit?

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10. How the hell do you attempt to 69 without it feeling like you're planning the invasion of a foreign country? It's definitely a position that seems like it could be cool, but also seems like it requires flowcharts. I can hear the erection fading away already.

11. Is everyone but me really doing anal? If so, does that mean it should sound great to me even though I can't imagine sticking so much as a pack of gum up there?

12. Am I supposed to like receiving oral? Because I still feel kind of weird about it and I hate that I feel weird about it because that's ridiculous and also it's probably because my partners have been bad. Yes, I am right about this. 

13. Is it weird to leave my bra on? I know I could take it off but in the heat of the moment, it just seems like it takes up too much time and sometimes I want its trusty support during vigorous sex things.

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14. Is it cool to ask for stuff he might not think to do? If I ask to be spanked, is he going to look at me like I'm a total weirdo freak show or will he be like, "Yeah, I'd love to!" and then I'll be like, "Yessss"?

15. How am I supposed to relax during oral? My legs are naturally forming a drawbridge that is barely open and I'm focusing so hard on relaxing that I might have a heart attack. This cannot be right.

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This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors. 

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