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15 Rules For Staying Friends With Your Ex

This guy clues us in on how to stay friends (we repeat, JUST FRIENDS) with your ex.

1. Always keep this in mind: Even if we still have feelings for each other, we did what we could, but we obviously failed.

2. If our friends still tease us, don’t be a killjoy and just play along.

3. Don’t think we’re jealous when we disapprove of a guy you’re dating. It’s just that we believe we know you more than you do.

4. We can still do things together, but not the same things we used to do. Reminiscing is the gateway to sex.

5. If we drunk text you saying we miss you, that’s just Johnny talking.

6. Go out and date! Not dating seems like you’re waiting for us to fall in love with you again.

7. If you date a guy who’s better than we are, we’ll date a girl who’s hotter than you are. That’s just how it is.

8. Please don’t blossom after we break up. Our doubts are only as strong as our will to follow these Commandments.

9. So we still live with our parents. Believe us, we’re trying to do something about it.

10. What happened in the bedroom stays in the bedroom. Especially the weird stuff we asked you to do. That wasn’t the right head thinking.

11. Remember, friends don’t hack their exes’ email or Facebook accounts, or cut up their clothes.

12. If we get a new girlfriend, please leave her alone. A sudden desire to invite her on girls’ night out will only make us extremely paranoid.

13. If we start acting weird and detached during our post-rel friendship phase, you might have to start reminding us of commandment #1.

14. You can talk about your new exciting love life with us, if you let us share all our crazy, best-sex-ever encounters with you.

15. If you’re old enough to read Cosmo, you should be mature enough to follow these rules.

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