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15 Things Going Through His Mind When He's Going Down On You

"So this is what feminine wash tastes like."

1. I think I need a map.
Or maybe a compass. Someone should teach a class on the proper way to navigate your lady’s nether region. Oh wait, that’s what porn is for!


2. Time to spell the alphabet with my tongue again!
It’s really the only way I can fake having some sort of technique.


3. Is it okay to kiss her after?
That would be like she kissed herself down there. Will she find that gross? Post-vaj mouth is kind of hot.


4. Good thing I shaved today.
She usually hates the extra prickliness from my ’stache.


5. Hey, she shaved too!
Score!


6. I hope she’s enjoying this.
I can’t tell from the look on her face. Her eyes are closed and she’s moaning. Is she in pain? Is she reeling in pleasure? This is so confusing.


7. So this is what feminine wash tastes like.
They should come up with flavors that I can appreciate. Beer and steak, maybe?


8. Oh shit, I need to sneeze. 
She might get pissed if I launch snot between her legs. Scratch that, she will be upset.


9. I wonder where the clit is?
I should’ve paid attention during my Human Anatomy class.

10. Breasts…are…so...far…from…reach.
Sexual multitasking is a bitch!


11. Oh look, a mole!
We could easily play a game of connect-the-dots on her thighs. I should suggest that sometime. Wait, back to work!


12. How much longer do I have to do this?
The saliva pooling in my mouth is enough to make a rabid dog blush.


13. Damn this lockjaw to hell!
There must be some pre-oral exercises somewhere online. Must remember to YouTube that after.


14. When do we get to have actual sex?
Please say now!


15. Did she come already?
Wait…she’s moaning into the pillow. She looks like she’s about to scream. Her body is shaking and it seems like she’s about to explode. Success! Whoohoo! I’m praying that we get to have sex now!

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