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15 Things Guys Think While You're Giving Him A Blow Job

Now I have to return the favor.

1. Oh yes! Praise the sex gods!

She’s in the mood for oral! I’m just so happy you’re game, even if there’s no special occasion. If I have to wait for our anniversary for another BJ, I might just lose it!

2. Try not to come too fast.

Try not to come too fast. Think of mathematics. Think of basketball. Think of lola. Wait, what?! Nooooo! 

3. A little tongue wouldn’t hurt!

Switch it up a little. It might even help with your gag-reflex. 

4. Should I be moaning?

Because I really want you to know how awesome this feels right now.  

5. Hey, her hair looks good from this vantage point.

O, may puyo ka pala diyan?

6. Just…resist…the urge to…give instructions…

I don’t want you to think that I’m an expert at giving blowies. 

7. Please don’t bite my dick off.

It know it looks like a Hungarian sausage (more like a hotdog tidbit), but honey, I need it for peeing, masturbating, and sexual intercourse! Be gentle. 

8. Her cleavage is awesome from this angle.

Bra-less boobies jiggling up and down: So much win!

9. Don’t grab her head and pull her hair.

It’s not a steering wheel. Just lie back, relax, and enjoy. 

10. That sucking sound is kind of funny!

I wonder if there’s already a name for it. Is it a slurp? A quaff? A sop maybe?

11. I hope I remembered to soap.

The last thing I want is you getting a whiff of my sweaty ballsac. 

12. Hey, I trimmed for this occasion.

I hope she notices my newfound talent for manscaping.  

13. I hope all that pineapple juice makes my jizz taste sweet.

That sour look on her face just gave me my answer.

14. I hope she…uhm…swallows.

Should I warn her that I’m about to come or should I just blow my load? Too late!

15. “That was amazing! Now I have to return the favor.”