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15 Things Only Proudly Antisocial Couples Understand

'Oh yes, we'd love to come to your party!' (Laughs forever; keeps watching TV.)

1. You both always reply "interested" to Facebook invites.
"Interested" universally translates to "fuck no," right?

2. You're running out of Netflix series.
'Cause you never go out.

3. You can both be ready to go out and then one of you sits on the couch and it's all over. 
I mean, how can your boyfriend get back up? He just sat down. That's physics, people. Can't argue with it.

4. You talk each other into missing big life events. 
"I know, babe, your best friend never really likes going out, so this party is kind of a big deal, but if I miss an episode of Game of Thrones I will probably actually die."

5. You justify everything by saying you're saving money. 
Staying in with leftovers and grocery-bought beer is much cheaper than going to whatever trendy club the normals are at. (Of course, you're probably gonna order some fancy-ass pizza with 40 toppings and watch a movie at home, but whatever! It's the thought that counts!)


6. You're secretly happy when your partner is a little sick.
You have a get out of jail free card for all invites for the week. Bring it on, mild head cold and minor aches and pains!

7. You cover each other's lies. 
He has to go to his sister's play and you have to cook dinner for your mom that's why you both didn't go to that party, right? It wasn't so you could stay home and binge-watch Friends. NEVER THAT!

8. You try to hype each other into going out but only succeed in making staying in sound better. 
"Get your ass up! We're going to Jean's birthday party! There will be people there! And no Netflix! Man, I'll miss Netflix! What's on Netflix? Scoot over."

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9. Yay, you made it to that party!
Now you can sit in the corner and only talk to each other.

10. Ordering a ton of food so you can cover multiple meals during a TV binge.
Yup.


11. If one member of the couple makes plans, the other one just spends the evening staring at a wall.
JK, they spend it watching that one show the other one hates. 

12. But when your couch potato mate gets home, you're stoked. 
BEST BUDDIES! Let's never leave each other again! Co-dependency will only make us stronger/mean we'll be found dead two weeks later via the smell, our bodies merged into one pile of flesh covered in pizza grease and beer stains!

13. A double date means you get two dinners. 
Like you're going out with another couple lololol pass the second plate of rigatoni, please!

14. You basically speak your own language. 
You know a certain point and grunt means "hand me the remote control and a mozzarella stick please and thank you I LOVE YOU BB!"

15. Free farting.
Since you barely see anyone else, you're both accustomed to each other's... er, personal aroma?

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This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.