15 Things That Just Matter About The Person You're Dating

If he's not over his ex, you might want to think twice about being with him.

They aren’t deal-breakers on their own (but they can be). If anything, they can help you become a better partner to your guy, and even a more mature person.

1. His personality. It’s one of the things that attracted you to him, but it’s a big factor on whether or not you’ll still like him in the long run. Will you get frustrated if he prefers to stay in on weekends when you love to go out? Will you be bored with a guy who’s always serious, he hardly makes you laugh?

2. His intellect. This doesn’t mean that you’ll dump a guy who only states the obvious every single time (“The coffee’s hot,” “It’s pouring!” “Your lips are red.”). Or someone who doesn’t read and can’t tell if something is illogical. If right now you want to date a dense guy, then you’ll be with a dense guy. If smart conversations really matter to you, you won’t last with a fool.

3. His beliefs. They’re part of who he is. It’s good to know where he stands with certain issues, so you guys can talk about them and settle for a compromise (if necessary), or you’ll know what things to bring up or avoid.

4. If he believes in commitment. It’s important to be on the same ground, so you won’t demand from your partner something he can’t give you at all.

5. If he harms himself or is depressive or suicidal. We all want to help and give extra care to the person who means a lot to us. This can only happen if you know what he’s going through internally.

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6. If he’s abusive or a beater. Because it’s time to LEAVE. No questions asked.

7. If he has STDs. Safe sex never felt more necessary. (And treatment, too, if you guys didn’t have safe sex.) Your support is also important if you’re willing to give it.

8. His vices, if he has any. Not that you’ll judge your partner for gambling or doing drugs. But that’s pretty serious stuff that you may not want to deal with in any way—which is OKAY. Point is, vices are a part of his lifestyle. And if you’re dating him, you shouldn’t be privy to them.

9. How he deals with stress. You deserve to know if he needs to be alone at a corner and be away from the world, including you. That way, you won’t get hurt from feeling like he’s jilting you again and again. Or develop trust issues from thinking he’s seeing someone else.

10. His priorities. The hierarchy should let you know how much he values you and the relationship, if he does at all. Just don’t go ape-shit if you’re not #1. That’s usually the family anyway.

11. If he’s a wanted criminal. Sleeping with one isn’t exactly on everyone’s to-do list. And if a guy hides this fact from you, you’d feel like he’s deceiving you (which he could be doing) or doesn’t trust you enough to handle the truth.

12. His kinks and turn-ons. Both of you want to have a great sex life, right? And both of you want to be with someone who can please you in bed? Well, it’s good to talk about your kinks and healthy to note that none of you have to do anything that makes the other uncomfortable. If anyone’s an ass about it, then good riddance. If both of you are down for some raunchy stuff, then GO-OH.

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13. If he’s over his ex. It HURTS to be invested in someone who’s hung up on somebody else AND can’t really like or love you just yet—or ever.

14. If he’s the jealous type. It’s annoying when your partner stops you from going out with your friends or goes through your messages. It’s suffocating and annoying. But it’s important to communicate and know what he’s worried about and whom he truly distrusts. Try to work your way to a compromise if you care about him and your relationship.

15. If he’s understanding. Let’s face it: You’re not perfect. Depending on where you and your partner are in the dating stage, he’ll realize you’re not his dream girl (if he hasn’t yet). You’re a real person with flaws, issues, and quirks, and you need to know if he loves you for who you are if you’re going to make it through the long haul.

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