1. The guy who disappears after two dates.
So we clicked enough to have a great second date that you seemed totally into me during, but then you never texted me again because why? I'm assuming you moved to the mountains to develop your relationship with Mother Earth and thus threw your cell phone into a canyon. No other explanation makes sense.
2. The guy who doesn't text back for two days.
I'm sure this "technique" worked for my mom's generation who was really into waiting a few days to call, but dude, I know you have your cell phone in your hand even when you're pooping. That means that when you don't text me for two days, it's because you're actively choosing not to. Not hot.
3. The guy who vanished from the earth and then texts you months later.
Like I'm supposed to be psyched to hear from you again after we went out on one date six months ago and you dropped off? Haha, no. First of all, you're not in my phone anymore, so I have to ask "who dis" and second, these guys never say, "I'm so sorry it's been so long." They just say, "Hey, it's John. What up?" This guy is the living worst.
4. The guy who negs you like that's something you'll be into.
This isn't kindergarten, so telling me I "seem cool" but "we'll see" like I'm a Netflix trial period and you'll decide at the end if you'll subscribe or not is laaaame.
5. The guy who never introduces you to his friends even though he's met yours.
And then you start to wonder if he even has friends and if those friends know he's dating someone, or if you're just a girl he wants to keep as a dark, sexual secret, and they will never know you exist.
6. The guy who doesn't put away his phone when you're together.
I know everyone is at least a little guilty of this, but we've all dated that guy who's out with us and yet seems to be eagerly texting and Instagramming while he "uh huhs" everything we say, and it makes you feel like crap.
7. The guy who talks about his ex all the time.
I think some guys think that if they talk about their ex all the time in a negative way, you'll get the idea that you're so much better than she was and he's so much happier. What actually happens is you hear her name more often than you hear your own, leading you to have the sneaking suspicion that he still really misses that "psycho girl who can honestly go to hell".
8. The guy who pretends he wants to date you but actually just wants to hook up.
These guys are the worst because if they'd just tell you from the start that they just want to have sex on weekends and never do anything beyond that, you might be down with it. But instead they say really sweet things and make it sound like you're the only woman in the world and take you to cute dinners. Then one day, you're in bed and they're like, "I love that we can do this and it doesn't have to mean something," and you wanna smack them with every pillow in the room.
9. The guy who only texts you after midnight.
And it's like, sure, I know you got out of work late, but also mornings exist and so do lunch breaks. These are 100 percent sexts period.
10. The guy who puts zero effort into planning dates.
Aka the guy who thinks Netflix and chill counts as an official date and you have to be like, "You know what I love? Leaving the house," for him to get the message.
11. The guy who never tells you you're pretty.
And you feel like you can't ask him if he thinks you look pretty because that seems weird, but also if you have to ask a guy, "Can you please tell me I'm pretty??" you'll never really believe he means it anyway.
12. The guy who ignores you when you're around his friends.
He might not totally ignore you completely, but he at least stops acting as cute and cuddly and sweet when his bros are around. I know not everyone is gonna be PDA-heavy around their friends, but feeling like whenever you're around his favorite people you suddenly become his meaningless friend with benefits is the worst.
13. The guy who's so nice but also so boring.
You'll usually waste several weeks (if not months) of your life trying to find a reason why you should break up with him because seriously, who dumps a guy who's so sweet and attentive, even though you never have fun together? And the answer of course is, "You, eventually," so why not just skip this guy altogether?"
14. The guy who says he doesn't go down on women but expects blow jobs.
Seriously if this guy likes selfish sex so much, he can continue to masturbate alone in his room.
15. The guy who acts like it's your fault he can't make you come.
It's one thing to ask for help when you can't make a girl come, but it's a totally different thing to ask the girl if she can't have an orgasm, as though that's the only reason why she didn't. It definitely couldn't be that "what you did wasn't working for her and you need to figure out something else." Impossible.
16. The guy who tries to convince you that condoms ruin sex.
This guy basically stopped maturing after the age of 13 because obviously condoms don't feel as good, but STIs and pregnancy feel way worse, so suck it up. You're 25.
17. The guy you went on one date with and now won't take a hint.
And then you feel like you have to politely have The Talk with someone you had 45 minutes of tapas with three weeks ago.
18. The guy who still sleeps on a mattress on the floor.
This is usually accompanied by only having a single bottle of shampoo in his shower and after dating a few of these guys you're just like, "Come on."
19. The guy who was so much more fun on the Internet.
Whether you met him on Tinder or Instagram matters not. We've all dated the guy who had a dazzling online personality, and then you met him IRL and it was like:
This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.