1. Someone falling asleep during movies
The sitch: He’s super excited to have you watch his most favorite film of all time. So you guys hole up, order in, and prepare for a movie night. But as the ultra-geeky, action-filled awesomeness comes to a climax, he turns to you and sees that you’re already in dreamland; drool dripping from your slightly opened mouth.
Which leads to: “You never pay attention or make an effort to get involved with my interests…”
The solution: Venti mocha latte, maybe?
2. Taking forever when getting ready to go out
The sitch: You’re still halfway through getting your cat eye just right as he stomps his feet already ready to go. But you still have your mascara and blush to put on, plus, you’re not really sure if this is the outfit for the night! The clock is ticking and decisions still need to be made!
Which leads to: “Stop hurrying me, okay!”
The solution: Whoever moves at a slug-pace when getting dressed should have a one-hour head start…or at the very least should be extra-sweet to the partner in waiting.
3. Lifting the toilet seat
The sitch: After he takes a leak, you go to the bathroom for your turn on the throne. But before you can sit on your newly cleaned toilet, you’re shocked at the rancid piss stains he has left that are now preventing a successful release on your end.
Which leads to: “Stop getting on my case! It’s not like I forget to lift the seat every time!”
The solution: It’s simple. Tell him that if he doesn’t learn to lift the toilet seat while peeing like a considerate male adult then there’ll be no nookie for him come bedtime. Actually, try that with every possible thing you want him to improve on.
4. Choosing which restaurant to go to
The sitch: He’s craving for Italian. But your tummy is screaming for some sushi. He also kind of thinks he wants to eat a burger. But that will only make you feel more bloated. Back and forth the discussions go until you end up in an awful restaurant neither of you wanted in the first place.
Which leads to: “You can never make up your mind. You always let me decide. How about knowing what you really want for once.”
The solution: Before leaving the house, go online and decide on an establishment you want to dine in. Don’t step out the door until you’ve agreed to avoid confusion.
5. Farting in bed
The sitch: You two are sleeping under the covers. It’s cozy and warm, only you start to get a whiff of a foul, lingering odor. He let one rip again, poisoning the air with his toxic expulsions! And this time, you’re not going to let it…erm…pass.
Which leads to: “Do you know that what you’re doing is rude? Is that how your mother raised you?”
The solution: Hey, everyone cuts the cheese every now and then. You chose him. Live with it.
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