While Henry Roth had 50 chances to make a good first impression, unfortunately, the rest of the world is not as forgetful as Lucy.
Here, first date convo no-nos to guarantee Date #2:
1. XOXO vs. Exes and Others
He does not want to hear about your exes or compete with other guys, Ryan Gosling included. The only X he likes is the kiss that comes after the hug. He asked you out; he doesn’t need the list of guys who found you attractive to know you’re a catch.
2. Babe vs. Baby
It’s natural to talk about weddings and beautiful kids named Brooklyn and Romeo…Right? Wrong. You’ve found a total babe; don’t start looking for a baby. You’re talking about lifetime commitments to a guy who hasn’t even committed to a second date. The fastest way to mess up your future with him is to predict it.
3. Show vs. Tell
Don’t tell him how awesome you are; show him, by being awesome. And remember, you should be getting to know him just as well as he’s getting to know you. This is not a free pass to talk about yourself all night. That’s what therapists are for, and if you can’t afford one, BFFs only charge a bottle of wine a night.
4. His Worth vs. Net Worth
There are a lot of practical reasons to discuss money and income…none of which apply on your first date. If you’re worried about the check, offer to go dutch or gauge his budget by his order. Guys expect to pay the bill, but find it sweet when a woman offers to pay for themselves. While money can buy a lot of things, it can’t buy you a second date if he thinks you’re materialistic, superficial, or cheap.
5. Date vs. Church vs. State
Religion and politics are extremely engaging, but equally volatile topics. They could transform your date from a romantic dinner to a verbal wrestling match as fast as you can say, “I’m pro/anti RH.” The first date is about getting to know each other, and that’s difficult when you spend half the date defending your views and the other half putting his down.
Remember: The first date is like the Pilot episode of a new show. Reveal enough awesomeness to get him hooked, but don’t give your whole story away. And if he keeps coming back for more, the finale will be worth the wait.