In a heated argument or intense fight with your partner over something petty or big, at least one of you felt that your relationship was being threatened and worried that it could end there. Makeup sex, done in the right circumstances, banishes all that paranoia and reassures you that your partner still loves you and is crazy about you, and that as a couple you guys are good, if not better with a lesson learned and with one less thing to fight about in the future. Here's how to know when the time is right to go for it:
1. You and your partner should have already resolved the conflict. Don't let makeup sex be the solution to your fights, because that's not going to help sustain your relationship in the long run. Fights arise when there are misunderstandings and unresolved or unchecked insecurities, and sex will not explain your partner's side or confront your deepest worries. Communication will.
2. Don't demand sex. You can whine about not getting it as much as you want to or in the way you want to, but no one should be demanding for sex. Maybe unless you've been married for a while now and your partner hasn't had sex with you yet, which sounds like a very rare case.
3. Don't expect the makeup sex will happen as soon as the fight is over. There's a chance it might not even push through, and your expectation can lead to your disappointment which your partner can feel and can lead to another argument. Yikes. Remember some people need quiet time to just let everything sink in, from the fight to fearing you'll be lost forever to feeling relieved that you guys made it through. Face it, that's a lot to handle in a span of an hour or so.
4. Touch your partner carefully and gradually. Don't be very touchy too soon! Makeup sex, which you can see or feel coming as soon as you and your partner reconcile, has a mix of spontaneity and build-up. The passion and excitement you felt when you were fighting so you'd come out as the winner are still coursing through your systems and are being changed to passion and excitement for each other. Expressing your desire slowly before going full force is going to tease you both. Let this good tension fill the air.
5. Don't bring up the fight during sex. What's done is done so old issues and fights shouldn't be brought up any longer, what more during sex. The only time it's okay for sure to recall those is to laugh about the past, which is pretty healthy. Still, bringing that up during sex may not be the best idea ever.
6. Don't use makeup sex to bring back the passion of your relationship or sex life. If you think there's something lacking in your relationship or that you're no longer feeling the love from him, confront your partner. Makeup sex is never the solution to anything; it's just the clear assurance that all is well again—and it's one amazing way to reaffirm your bond.
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