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7 Either/Or Sex Questions, Answered!

Spit or swallow? Lights on or off?

One of the most fun things about sex is that it allows its participants so much room to explore. There’s a myriad of options, positions, and permutations to go through that before we hit our graves, most of us would’ve probably only tried a handjob…erm…handful. This is the reason why a lot of “either/or” and “yes/no” questions pop up when it comes to intimate matters–the most common of which are listed below, with our suggestions for each. Remember, there are no right or wrong answers when dealing with these kinky queries. Just open your mind (and your legs) and allow the sexual selections to boggle your bedroom antics.


If your lights are harsh and fluorescent, then it might be best to keep the flesh fest in the shadows—unless you'd want every single body part illuminated, of course. If you have ambient lighting that can help set the mood (and help your usually confused beau navigate through all those silk sheets) then by all means, flick the switch on. There’s nothing sexier than softly lit silhouettes uniting in carnal glory.

The answer: Lights on. But please stick to moody lamplight.


Men might not need natural lubrication as much as women do, but let’s rid ourselves of the notion that your boyfriend just wants to skip all the bells and whistles and just stick it in. French kissing, fingering, blowjobs, and cunnilingus: these are a few of our favorite things. If he doesn’t give you enough of the last one, hold out on the BJs and see where that gets ya.

The answer: Have foreplay. It’s of the utmost importance, especially if there’s going to be some penetration involved.

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Only a masochist would force his partner to down shots of semen like it was tequila after a hard day’s work. Most men probably don’t care and are just happy that you decided to lick his lollipop in the first place.

The answer: Spit if you must and swallow if in need of a midnight snack. Trust, he won’t judge you unless he’s forced to slurp-up your vaginal juice like it was the soup of the day.


There are a lot of things to consider when it comes to this one. Like, is he finishing off or are you just getting started? Are you taking the lead or is he? If men enjoy being on top because they can maneuver the motion to their orgasmic advantage, it’s safe to assume that when you’re on top, you can, ehem, stir the pot to hit the spot.

The answer: Both. Don’t limit yourselves.

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How about start tender 'til it progresses into torrid territory? Yes? Yes! YES!

The answer: Again, both. Don’t limit yourselves.


If you can muster up the courage to tread on those waters, then have him backdoor away. Otherwise–and he won’t complain–the front entrance is without doubt, more than enough. 

The answer: This is a question only you know the answer to. Ready to experiment? Read this: 8 Anal Foreplay Tips for Beginners


Though most men enjoy more pleasure sans the annoying feeling that his penis is rubbing up against day-old bubblegum (come on girls, admit it, you do too!), this question should come after the likes of: Are you and your partner in a committed long-term relationship? Are you on the pill or using other means of contraception? Are you guys free of any STDs?

The answer: If you answered no to any of the three, be vigilant by making sure he puts the glove on. You’ll both benefit from it.

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