If you really want to make his knees buckle with bliss, you need to know some details about male anatomy. We’re talking specifics on how a guy’s skin reacts to certain stroke styles, the level of pressure men prefer, and the exact chain of events that occurs in his body when you and he make flesh-on-flesh contact.
There’s a lot more going on than you probably think. “Each touch between you two sparks a cascade of sensations: His temperature rises, his pain threshold increases, and chemical messengers released into his bloodstream make his skin supersensitive,” explains Susan Kellogg, PhD, director of sexual medicine at the Pelvic and Sexual Health Institute in Philadelphia. To learn more about your guy’s bod, plus the blow-his-mind maneuvers that’ll make you his pleasure queen, check out these principles of carnal connecting.
Touch Technique 1: Start With A Slow, Surprising Stroke
Sure, if you unzip your guy’s jeans and grab his privates, you’ll get an instant rise out of him. But kindling his desire with a subtle, less obvious touch will produce more intense passion. That’s because men are linear thinkers who like to know what’s going to happen next. “Male patients often say that during a massage, they respond to more predictable back-and-forth moves,” says Kellogg.
Deviating from that conventional pattern and treating him to an unpredictable stroke, however, is more surprising, meaning it’ll really ignite his libido. He won’t be able to guess where you’ll caress him next, so as he anticipates your touch, all of his nerve endings will be on high alert.
Blow-his-mind maneuver: Sit behind him and use one finger to trace zigzags across his shoulder blades and down his spine. “A zigzag rhythm is hard to predict, especially since he can’t see your hand,” explains sexologist Patti Britton, PhD, author of The Art of Sex Coaching. He’ll go wild if you alternate quick, short motions with languid, longer ones.
As his erotic anticipation builds, continue zigzagging down the small of his back, moving up to his shoulders again or taking your finger along one side then the other. The nerves near his spine and waist are directly connected to his package, so stimulating them will shoot currents of electricity between his legs, she adds.
Touch Technique 2: Heat Up His Hidden Hot Spots
Once your man feels your fingers inching below his belt, he’ll probably assume that you’re about to fast-forward to the main event. Not yet. There’s actually a more scorching move you need to make first: Lavish amorous attention on an off-the-beaten-path body region. Do this and you’ll rouse pleasure receptors he didn’t even know he had.
“The male body is loaded with bliss buttons that many women and men don’t know are there, so these regions never get stroked or licked,” says Britton. “Because he’s not used to feeling your hand or mouth on these spots, touching them can trigger surprisingly powerful sensations.”
Blow-his-mind maneuver: Slowly nibble the outer rim of his ear, pausing to suck gently on the lobe before probing just inside his ear canal with the curled tip of your tongue. The warm, wet sensation on this ultrathin skin will come as such a shock, it’ll incite a riot in his shorts. Also, poking inside this uncharted orifice is a slightly taboo move. “It’s an exotic way to ‘penetrate’ him, which many men find supremely arousing,” says Britton.
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Touch Technique 3: Keep In Constant Contact
Professional masseuses have a stroke secret: Once they start a massage, they never take their hands off a client’s body. “Removing one hand for just a moment disrupts that soothing skin-on-skin connection,” explains Lisa Douglass, PhD, coauthor of The Sex You Want.
The same principle applies to randy rubdowns as well. When you caress a man continually, your touch feels so fluid on his skin that he’s lulled into an erotic trance. “But if you stop stroking, that trance is broken and his lust level takes a dive,” she says. Plus, a long, smooth caress feels a hell of a lot hotter than random grabs and squeezes.
Blow-his-mind maneuver: Graze his chest with your fingertips, edging down to his treasure trail and private parts via small, circular motions. “Thrill him even more by tantalizing two areas simultaneously,” suggests Britton. For example, while circling his nipple with one hand, use the other to trace wider circles around his belly button, his pubic hair, and then the base of his penis. Or draw squiggly lines down each side of his torso until both of your hands meet at his manhood. By covering a huge swatch of skin at the same time, you’ll send surges of erotic currents from his spine to his package. At this point, he’ll be dying to feel both of your hands on his member.
Touch Technique 4: Flick The Tip Lightly
The head of your man’s erect penis is like a sensual switchboard, lit up with more lusty nerve endings than any other part of his anatomy. But within this carnal command center, there is one hot spot that really stands out from the rest: his frenulum, that tiny knob of flesh on the underside of the tip, where the head meets the shaft.
“Many men feel the most intense sensations when this area is directly stimulated,” explains Laurence Levine, MD, professor of urology at Rush University Medical Center in Chicago. Yet because his F spot is so nerve-rich, too much touching can send him into overdrive before you’re ready. And excessive pressure can leave him in pain.
Blow-his-mind maneuver: Strike a bliss-inducing balance by holding the base of his penis firmly with one hand, then delicately flicking his frenulum with the flat of your tongue. “Use a steady pulsing motion, so you’re almost fluttering your tongue against him,” says Logan Levkoff, a sexuality educator in New York City. Take breaks by swirling your tongue around his crown or brushing your lips against the tip then returning to his frenulum. Your oral expertise will trigger a chain reaction of pleasure...so long as you don’t apply too much pressure.
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Touch Technique 5: ...But Use A Rougher Touch On His Shaft
Most chicks avoid the hard-and-fast strokes men truly desire. “The skin that covers his penis is relatively thick and flexible, similar to the skin on our forearms,” says Kellogg. The skin of the clitoris and vaginal opening, however, is thin and fragile and as sensitive as the skin on your eyelids. Because of the different textures, women don’t realize that men require firmer, faster strokes to reach the heights of pleasure. Of course, playing rough with his penis is a psychological lust-booster as well. “It suggests passion and urgency, which are huge guy turn-ons,” she says.
Blow-his-mind maneuver: Slide your fist up and down his shaft using twice the level of pressure you would normally use if you were just holding his hand. (Slather on lots of lube; because the slippery stuff conducts heat, you’ll steam things up and cut down on friction.) Start off slow, working up to a vigorous jerking rhythm. “You’ll know you’ve found the right speed and grip if you feel his penis getting harder as you hold it,” says Britton.
Touch Technique 6: Treat His Jewels Gingerly
Covered by skin so thin it’s practically translucent, a man’s testicles are notoriously vulnerable, particularly to changes in temperature and pressure. “The slightest touch or heat can cause them to rise closer to his body,” says Dr. Levine. “This doesn’t necessarily mean your guy doesn’t want you to touch them; it’s simply a protective reflex that safeguards the testicles and, by extension, the sperm inside.” To make sure your guy isn’t startled by your hand, however, wait until he’s already charged up before reaching for them. “When a guy is turned on, his pain threshold increases, so a touch that normally might be too much for him or downright uncomfortable can feel really good,” says Britton.
Blow-his-mind maneuver: While riding your guy in the woman-on-top position, cup each twin in your palm with your other hand on his chest or thigh for balance. Then lightly squeeze his twins in tempo with your thrusts. (Never clamp down or squeeze hard; use the same barely-there pressure you use when you move your computer mouse.) “Having his penis thrusting inside you as your hand surrounds his testicles will create a sensation combination that tops everything else,” says Levkoff.
Touch Technique 7: The Post-Passion Wind-Down
Seconds after he reaches peak, blood rushes out of your man’s penis, leaving him unable to endure anything more than a feather-light stroke for up to 20 minutes. “This is the refractory period, when your guy’s sensitivity slowly subsides and only the thickest body skin can handle direct stimulation,” says Britton. But as his lust recedes and his orgasmic spasm lessens, he still wants to feel connected to you. “After a hot sex session, hormones called endorphins released by his body compel him to crave a calming touch that’s arousing but not overtly sexual,” she says.
Blow-his-mind maneuver: While your man is still inside you catching his breath after his big O, try pressing your fingertips into the fleshiest part of his butt cheeks, kneading the skin. As his breathing becomes steadier, take your touch to the next level by tapping his flesh or massaging the dimple-like indentation where his back meets his booty. These wind-down moves will soothe his skin as well as reinforce your bond. “Pumping his butt when he’s on top of you draws him closer to your body,” says Levkoff. “And the constant contact may even recharge him for round two.”
There’s a lot more going on than you probably think. “Each touch between you two sparks a cascade of sensations: His temperature rises, his pain threshold increases, and chemical messengers released into his bloodstream make his skin supersensitive,” explains Susan Kellogg, PhD, director of sexual medicine at the Pelvic and Sexual Health Institute in Philadelphia. To learn more about your guy’s bod, plus the blow-his-mind maneuvers that’ll make you his pleasure queen, check out these principles of carnal connecting.
Touch Technique 1: Start With A Slow, Surprising Stroke
Sure, if you unzip your guy’s jeans and grab his privates, you’ll get an instant rise out of him. But kindling his desire with a subtle, less obvious touch will produce more intense passion. That’s because men are linear thinkers who like to know what’s going to happen next. “Male patients often say that during a massage, they respond to more predictable back-and-forth moves,” says Kellogg.
Deviating from that conventional pattern and treating him to an unpredictable stroke, however, is more surprising, meaning it’ll really ignite his libido. He won’t be able to guess where you’ll caress him next, so as he anticipates your touch, all of his nerve endings will be on high alert.
Blow-his-mind maneuver: Sit behind him and use one finger to trace zigzags across his shoulder blades and down his spine. “A zigzag rhythm is hard to predict, especially since he can’t see your hand,” explains sexologist Patti Britton, PhD, author of The Art of Sex Coaching. He’ll go wild if you alternate quick, short motions with languid, longer ones.
As his erotic anticipation builds, continue zigzagging down the small of his back, moving up to his shoulders again or taking your finger along one side then the other. The nerves near his spine and waist are directly connected to his package, so stimulating them will shoot currents of electricity between his legs, she adds.
Touch Technique 2: Heat Up His Hidden Hot Spots
Once your man feels your fingers inching below his belt, he’ll probably assume that you’re about to fast-forward to the main event. Not yet. There’s actually a more scorching move you need to make first: Lavish amorous attention on an off-the-beaten-path body region. Do this and you’ll rouse pleasure receptors he didn’t even know he had.
“The male body is loaded with bliss buttons that many women and men don’t know are there, so these regions never get stroked or licked,” says Britton. “Because he’s not used to feeling your hand or mouth on these spots, touching them can trigger surprisingly powerful sensations.”
Blow-his-mind maneuver: Slowly nibble the outer rim of his ear, pausing to suck gently on the lobe before probing just inside his ear canal with the curled tip of your tongue. The warm, wet sensation on this ultrathin skin will come as such a shock, it’ll incite a riot in his shorts. Also, poking inside this uncharted orifice is a slightly taboo move. “It’s an exotic way to ‘penetrate’ him, which many men find supremely arousing,” says Britton.
[nextpage]
Touch Technique 3: Keep In Constant Contact
Professional masseuses have a stroke secret: Once they start a massage, they never take their hands off a client’s body. “Removing one hand for just a moment disrupts that soothing skin-on-skin connection,” explains Lisa Douglass, PhD, coauthor of The Sex You Want.
The same principle applies to randy rubdowns as well. When you caress a man continually, your touch feels so fluid on his skin that he’s lulled into an erotic trance. “But if you stop stroking, that trance is broken and his lust level takes a dive,” she says. Plus, a long, smooth caress feels a hell of a lot hotter than random grabs and squeezes.
Blow-his-mind maneuver: Graze his chest with your fingertips, edging down to his treasure trail and private parts via small, circular motions. “Thrill him even more by tantalizing two areas simultaneously,” suggests Britton. For example, while circling his nipple with one hand, use the other to trace wider circles around his belly button, his pubic hair, and then the base of his penis. Or draw squiggly lines down each side of his torso until both of your hands meet at his manhood. By covering a huge swatch of skin at the same time, you’ll send surges of erotic currents from his spine to his package. At this point, he’ll be dying to feel both of your hands on his member.
Touch Technique 4: Flick The Tip Lightly
The head of your man’s erect penis is like a sensual switchboard, lit up with more lusty nerve endings than any other part of his anatomy. But within this carnal command center, there is one hot spot that really stands out from the rest: his frenulum, that tiny knob of flesh on the underside of the tip, where the head meets the shaft.
“Many men feel the most intense sensations when this area is directly stimulated,” explains Laurence Levine, MD, professor of urology at Rush University Medical Center in Chicago. Yet because his F spot is so nerve-rich, too much touching can send him into overdrive before you’re ready. And excessive pressure can leave him in pain.
Blow-his-mind maneuver: Strike a bliss-inducing balance by holding the base of his penis firmly with one hand, then delicately flicking his frenulum with the flat of your tongue. “Use a steady pulsing motion, so you’re almost fluttering your tongue against him,” says Logan Levkoff, a sexuality educator in New York City. Take breaks by swirling your tongue around his crown or brushing your lips against the tip then returning to his frenulum. Your oral expertise will trigger a chain reaction of pleasure...so long as you don’t apply too much pressure.
[nextpage]
Touch Technique 5: ...But Use A Rougher Touch On His Shaft
Most chicks avoid the hard-and-fast strokes men truly desire. “The skin that covers his penis is relatively thick and flexible, similar to the skin on our forearms,” says Kellogg. The skin of the clitoris and vaginal opening, however, is thin and fragile and as sensitive as the skin on your eyelids. Because of the different textures, women don’t realize that men require firmer, faster strokes to reach the heights of pleasure. Of course, playing rough with his penis is a psychological lust-booster as well. “It suggests passion and urgency, which are huge guy turn-ons,” she says.
Blow-his-mind maneuver: Slide your fist up and down his shaft using twice the level of pressure you would normally use if you were just holding his hand. (Slather on lots of lube; because the slippery stuff conducts heat, you’ll steam things up and cut down on friction.) Start off slow, working up to a vigorous jerking rhythm. “You’ll know you’ve found the right speed and grip if you feel his penis getting harder as you hold it,” says Britton.
Touch Technique 6: Treat His Jewels Gingerly
Covered by skin so thin it’s practically translucent, a man’s testicles are notoriously vulnerable, particularly to changes in temperature and pressure. “The slightest touch or heat can cause them to rise closer to his body,” says Dr. Levine. “This doesn’t necessarily mean your guy doesn’t want you to touch them; it’s simply a protective reflex that safeguards the testicles and, by extension, the sperm inside.” To make sure your guy isn’t startled by your hand, however, wait until he’s already charged up before reaching for them. “When a guy is turned on, his pain threshold increases, so a touch that normally might be too much for him or downright uncomfortable can feel really good,” says Britton.
Blow-his-mind maneuver: While riding your guy in the woman-on-top position, cup each twin in your palm with your other hand on his chest or thigh for balance. Then lightly squeeze his twins in tempo with your thrusts. (Never clamp down or squeeze hard; use the same barely-there pressure you use when you move your computer mouse.) “Having his penis thrusting inside you as your hand surrounds his testicles will create a sensation combination that tops everything else,” says Levkoff.
Touch Technique 7: The Post-Passion Wind-Down
Seconds after he reaches peak, blood rushes out of your man’s penis, leaving him unable to endure anything more than a feather-light stroke for up to 20 minutes. “This is the refractory period, when your guy’s sensitivity slowly subsides and only the thickest body skin can handle direct stimulation,” says Britton. But as his lust recedes and his orgasmic spasm lessens, he still wants to feel connected to you. “After a hot sex session, hormones called endorphins released by his body compel him to crave a calming touch that’s arousing but not overtly sexual,” she says.
Blow-his-mind maneuver: While your man is still inside you catching his breath after his big O, try pressing your fingertips into the fleshiest part of his butt cheeks, kneading the skin. As his breathing becomes steadier, take your touch to the next level by tapping his flesh or massaging the dimple-like indentation where his back meets his booty. These wind-down moves will soothe his skin as well as reinforce your bond. “Pumping his butt when he’s on top of you draws him closer to your body,” says Levkoff. “And the constant contact may even recharge him for round two.”
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