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7 Things His Penis Would Say If It Could Talk

His penis wants to tell you...

1. "Please don’t tug at me too hard!"

When it would say this: When the handjob it’s receiving is of the more aggressive kind. Be gentle, CGs. Like the vaj, the penis is a powerful thing, but it does have its limits and it can break.

Your possible comeback: “Only if you stop penetrating me before I’m all lubed up! That hurts, too, you know!”

2. "Can we go in there again, please?"

When it would say this: After it bathes in the afterglow of a good round of sexual intercourse!

Your possible comeback: “Sorry, penis! I want some tongue action down there first!”

3. "What’s this other hole for?"

When it would say this: When it discovers your backdoor–an unexplored region that only you can give it access to.

Your possible comeback: “No trespassing!”

4. "I like it when you lick me like that."

When it would say this: During a very intense blowjob, where it’s reeling in the throes of ecstasy. 

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Your possible comeback: “I wish I could say the same. Haaaaay!”

5. "So. Much. Hair…"

When it would say this: As it navigates the dark regions of a hairy bush. 

Your possible comeback: “You’re one to talk, jungle joe!”

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6. "I’m gonna blow!!!"

When it would say this: “When climaxing from a handjob, blowie, or penetration.”

Your possible comeback: “Don’t get it all over the sheets, please!”

7. "Okay, time to deflate!"

When it would say this: When it’s tired and beaten from a crazy night of awesome romps.

Your possible comeback: “I’m soooo used to it.”