1. "Please don’t tug at me too hard!"
When it would say this: When the handjob it’s receiving is of the more aggressive kind. Be gentle, CGs. Like the vaj, the penis is a powerful thing, but it does have its limits and it can break.
Your possible comeback: “Only if you stop penetrating me before I’m all lubed up! That hurts, too, you know!”
2. "Can we go in there again, please?"
When it would say this: After it bathes in the afterglow of a good round of sexual intercourse!
Your possible comeback: “Sorry, penis! I want some tongue action down there first!”
3. "What’s this other hole for?"
When it would say this: When it discovers your backdoor–an unexplored region that only you can give it access to.
Your possible comeback: “No trespassing!”
4. "I like it when you lick me like that."
When it would say this: During a very intense blowjob, where it’s reeling in the throes of ecstasy.
Your possible comeback: “I wish I could say the same. Haaaaay!”
5. "So. Much. Hair…"
When it would say this: As it navigates the dark regions of a hairy bush.
Your possible comeback: “You’re one to talk, jungle joe!”
6. "I’m gonna blow!!!"
When it would say this: “When climaxing from a handjob, blowie, or penetration.”
Your possible comeback: “Don’t get it all over the sheets, please!”
7. "Okay, time to deflate!"
When it would say this: When it’s tired and beaten from a crazy night of awesome romps.
Your possible comeback: “I’m soooo used to it.”