1. “Give me five more minutes. Kilay na lang, oh!"
Who are you kidding? Five more minutes to pick an outfit and finish doing your makeup would be a miracle. Just be honest, you’re going to take much, much, MUCH longer than that. #mayforever
2. “Nothing’s wrong. I’m fine.”
If you’ve been in a relationship long enough with a person, you know when something is up. Pretending like there aren’t ill thoughts running through your head or emotions bogging you down will only make matters worse. Tell him what the problem is so you two can deal with it, stat!
3. “He’s just a friend.”
Yup, a friend who wants to get into your pants. Trust that your man knows when a guy has an ulterior motive. He’s not just being paranoid about that eager coworker of yours. He knows. He’s been there.
4. “I don’t masturbate. Promise.”
There’s nothing wrong with getting some me-time, flicking your bean, and rubbing one out. It’s sex with someone you love: yourself. Own up to it!
5. “Why are you checking out that hot girl’s Instagram account? I don’t do that, you know.”
Your beau is aware that you need to look at pretty young things online once in awhile. He’s accepted the fact that he isn’t handsome enough to hold your attention 24/7. As long as you’re just looking and appreciating Daniel Matsunaga’s rock hard abs, he won’t be bothered.
6. “Flowers and chocolates don’t impress me.”
And you girls say, “Chivalry is dead!” Accept the damn flowers and chocolates! It could be worse. He could buy you a baduy dress that he’d expect you to wear on a fancy date. Ewwwww!
7. “I totally came…”
When said with nonchalance, he’ll know that it’s a bunch of BS. If you did climax during intercourse, he wouldn’t have to ask.
8. “You wouldn’t understand.”
It’s a bit insulting to assume that your man can’t weigh on whatever it is you’re going through. Romantic relationships should be hinged on trust, honesty, and transparency. If you can’t open up to the person you love then what’s the point of being with him?
9. “It’s that time of the month, okay? I have my period!”
This is your trump card. He really has no comeback for this because, unlike womenfolk, men don’t understand what it feels like to have blood gush out of you once a month. You win!