1. Gaining the happy pounds. So you finally got the guy who’s perfect for you and you keep going out on dates or staying in eating junk food. Your only exercise is sex. Of course you’ll gain weight, even if you don't want to.
2. People telling you that you gained the happy pounds. Tell me something I don’t know, Captain Obvious.
3. People telling you that you’re finally blooming. This always feels like a backhanded insult. Like, you’re just blooming NOW, when you’re happily taken? What about those times you were single and free and loving it?
4. People asking you about marriage plans. Apparently, just because you’re in a healthy relationship, people rush you to the altar. They forget that you’re 23 and not looking to start a family just yet. (You do have gown pegs though—people should ask you about them instead!)
5. When people think you and your partner are boring because there’s no drama between you two. Boring?! They should see what goes down in bed. Or anywhere else. Drama doesn’t always mean fun, and fun can happen without drama.
6. When your friends ask you about you and your partner and all you can say is “We’re okay, we’re good.” Because you just don’t want to give intimate deets when your friends are having relationship troubles. Not that you think they’ll take offense or anything. But being polite or tactful is pretty inherent with you.
7. When you do gush about your relationship, you feel like you’re being over-indulgent. You’ve gone past the giddy, unpredictable flirting stage where everyone roots for you and wants you guys to be together. At this point in the relationship, you get the impression that not a lot of people are really interested in how happy you and your S.O. are. People want drama! People want to know if you guys are fighting! Or getting married! (The only good news, it seems?)
8. When some people think you and your partner have split because you guys don’t do online PDA. Sorry, we just don’t let social media validate our relationship. We’re too busy living in the moment to take selfies and come up with captions and hashtags.
9. Some abangers are going to stalk you or your partner, wondering if you guys are still together. LOL. Thanks for the attention, but back off, bitches.
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