9 Things Guys Think About Your Sexy Halloween Costume

This feels wrong in so many ways, because now I'm sexually attracted to Nemo.

1. Aren't you cold? 
Lady, it's rainy season and even if that whole thing is made of goose down, 90 percent of your body is still exposed to the elements.

2. That has to just be body paint. 
There's no way. I can see...everything. 

3. Isn't that a children's cartoon character? 
This feels wrong in so many ways, because now I'm sexually attracted to Nemo.

4. That sexy nurse outfit does not seem befitting of a health care professional.
It seems like it would constrict your movement in an emergency scenario and is also probably relatively unsanitary.

5. I wonder how much of that outfit you already own. 
That's just underwear and cat ears. Did you go out and buy underwear specifically to be a sexy cat?

6. That costume just inspired, like, eight cheesy pick-up lines. 
I need to figure out which one is best for a Dracula to say to a sexy dinosaur though.

7. I wonder what you're like in real life. 
Like, when you're not dressed as a scantily clad toilet. That's not a dig. You're literally dressed as a toilet.

8. I wonder if I could fit in that. 
I mean, my balls would definitely hang out, but other than that, I feel like I could pull it off.

9. Man, why can't any of these women dress up as something not sexy? 

*Sees woman dressed up in a padded sumo wrestler costume and ignores her all night.*

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This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors. 

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