Why You Should Date Somebody You’re Not Astrologically 'Compatible' With

Sun signs are for amateurs.
PHOTO: katie buckleitner/getty images

So you swiped right. The first date was *good*. Then you casually hunkered down to stalk them on social and figure out their sign and...you’re, like, the opposite of soul mates, according to the internet. Time to block them forever and avoid a doomed relationship? Eh, do this instead.

Make them text Mom

To really figure out compatibility, you’re gonna want to see their birth chart. And to get that, you need the exact time and place they were born. Better than creepily soliciting strangers (i.e., their parents) for this info: having them ask Mama directly.

Find patterns

Let’s take a look at the planets in potential boo’s chart: The Sun reveals their external preferences, the Moon governs their emotions, Mercury rules communication, Venus is associated with love and values, and Mars symbolizes sex drive. Notice which sign each planet is in—and how they interact with the planets and signs in your own chart. As a general rule, fire signs (Aries, Leo, Sagittarius) and air signs (Gemini, Libra, Aquarius) vibe well together, while earth signs (Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn) and water signs (Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces) have a ~special connection~.

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Embrace tension

There will be areas of your charts that scream compatibility (any Moon and Venus correspondences are especially romantic) and others that, uh, don’t (Mercury and Mars, for instance, can be combative). But! In astrology, points of conflict are not necessarily negative. Tension can propel momentum and encourage you to shift your perspective (basically, it helps you sort out your shit).

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Calm TF Down

Listen, if your overall compatibility just isn’t looking great, it’s fine. Try to flex your empathy muscle anyway—after all, even better-than-a-background-check birth charts don’t fully decode our complexities. At the end of the day, astrology is about compassion, ya know?


This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.

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